As a police man, I've never encountered a gang of rogueish fiends more terrifying than the Gables Centaurs. My first experience with them was during a
gang fight between the Key Rats. The Key Rats had guns and knives, and were much bigger and gayer than the Gables Centaurs could ever be. But nonetheless, the Centaurs kicked the Key Rats' asses! All they had against the Key Rats' guns and knives were frozen baguettes and
soggy hot
dogs! Yet, here I see them slapping them across the face with the wet hot dog, and beating the Key Rats over the
head with baguettes! It was a blood bath...horrifying to watch. Their leaders, Sophocles and Homer the
Blind Poet then leered at me and started reciting lines from Greek Mythology. I almost
shat myself. I've been through gang violence and drug busts, but nothing could've ever prepared me for my scuffle with the Centaurs. I'll never forget it...I started running to my car as
fast as I could, but before I could reach it, they threw a
bowl of French Onion soup at me. God knows why the hell they had a bowl of French Onion soup with them, those diabolical motherfuckers. The scalding
liquid peremeated my flesh, I cowered to the floor, writhing with agony. I woke up
ten days later in a hospital, with an acute case of amnesia, but an even more acute case of Frenchonionesia -- the
chronic sent of French Onion Soup. To this day, I still smell
like French Onion soup, all thanks to those Gables Centaurs bastards. One day...ah, what am I saying. I'll never get back at those Food Warriors. Never in my life. A man can wish though, a man can wish...
1. Hide your children, those
bad mothafuckas the Gables Centaurs is a-walkin' down the
street!
2. Key Rats shit themselves when they see Gables Centaurs with frozen baguettes and hot
dogs.
3. No one can fight with French Onion soup more effectively than the Gables Centaurs.