Top Definition
The passing of gas whilst staving off an impending crap, thereby imparting it with the bold flavor and full-bodied aroma of a fresh-brewed crap. A 'near-shart' experience.
Cheeks clenched, he French Roasted and left my cubicle. It smelled as though he'd just shat in the wastebasket.
by Guano Valdez September 16, 2007
The act of masturbating while using a nice dark french roast coffee grounds as lubricant.
"John why does it reek of coffee near your computer?" "I just watched some porn and gave myself a nice french roast."
by Epik5 October 24, 2011

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