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1.
A deliberate act of Confederate aggression, the Fort Cumter is a surprise-attack of semenic proportions. During coitus, the male (Southern aggressor) purposefully disregards the approbations set forth under the Mason Jism line and rains cannon fire (jizzums) in his opponent's (traitorous Yankee harlot's) eyeball.
Jenny: Oh Jacob, please come on my stomach, that would be so hot!

Jacob: Quiet, Yankee fiend! The South will rise again, yeehaw! Prepare for the Fort Cumter: a full frontal assault!

<em> Jacob looses his cannons on her eyeballs, beginning the American Civil War. </em>
by J. Wellington Wimpy May 20, 2013