by Josh Coey February 1, 2007
A man from Florida nakedly planks across two little people, who use their above-average upper body strength to support Florida Man’s weight, evenly distributed, of course. Florida Man then masturbates himself to completion onto the awaiting back of a delegate from the Czech Republic, who is crawling on all fours, shirtless, back and forth under the planking Florida Man. The maneuver is complete once the two little people sufficiently belittle Florida Man for his lack of teeth and sperm count.
Meg: Pat has been arrested twice now for his unauthorized performance of the Florida Man Self Czech Out.
James: That’s right! You actually have to be a state resident to perform that unindictedly.
James: That’s right! You actually have to be a state resident to perform that unindictedly.
by Blowhole Immersion August 19, 2023
Everyone has heard an adult human rectum can stretch to 7 inches without tearing; and that raccoons can fit into holes as small as four inches. The Florida Man, takes advantage of those last few inches of clearance with the addition of an adult brown striped Atlantic octopus. Octopi can fit into anything larger than their beak. So to preform the Florida Man, one must simply trap a dumpster raccoon, catch an adult Atlantic octopus, and then hogtie the raccoon using the Optimus’s tentacles. At that point a fair amount of axle grease should ease the transition into the rectum, potato cannons can also be used for extra Florida points. The two animals will then fight to the death in the recipient’s rectum, without ever tearing the sphincter.
Bets should be placed about which animal will come out the victor.
It is also important not to bitch out and use Atlantic Pygmy octopi as they are venomous.
Bets should be placed about which animal will come out the victor.
It is also important not to bitch out and use Atlantic Pygmy octopi as they are venomous.
Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen come into the ER? We once had a guy come in with a dead raccoon and a live octopus up his ass. Everyone with him apparently had bets going about which animal would be dead when we removed them. They called it the Florida Man Colonsseum
by Jdh1002 April 12, 2023
When a man makes a jar of shit and cum and blends it, mixes it with water, pours it on someone's face, pins them down and farts on them for 5 minute straight until shit comes out, then proceeds to shove a tiny turd up the woman's vigina. and scream at her face and run away.
by Cool Kid Library March 23, 2023
an alleged prevalence of people performing irrational or maniacal actions in the U.S. state of Florida.
Florida man arrested for assaulting 16 people with a frying pan inside a Florida waffle house, and beating up 5 police officer after being 4 times the legal driving limit while intoxicated, also got caught with 5 pounds of crack and LSD.
by tharizzler69 November 6, 2023
Florida Man is an elusive entity that only comes out at 1:00 am it's usually seen at gas stations or at playgrounds this entity can be very hostile don't drink monster energy near this entity it can smell it from miles away,don't shine your flashlight at it it hates anything to do with light,Don't drink any sort of alcohol if it gets ahold of alcohol Florida Man will evolve into it's final form. How can you tell if it's a Florida Man? The first sign that you encountered a Florida Man is the smell if you smell,if it smells like sweaty moster energy with a hint of pee then it might be a Florida Man. The second sign is that time and space seems like it has stopped. If you have one of these signs it's not to late run as fast as you can.The third sign is reality is starting to shift objects just start appearing out of nowhere.The last sign is Florida Man itself it's usually floating in the air ong stained anime body pillows if you're seeing this it's too late to turn back,You're one of us now.
by aRandomNoob7 November 16, 2020
by local floridian man January 11, 2023