An annual event in which five or more extremely offensive individuals with above average intelligence and below average judgement coalesce from different corners of the U.S. to engage in illicit activities. The event is not an official "Fest" until an individual or group of individuals has made an attempt to microwave an object larger than a microwave. If this attempt transpires within the first hour of the Flag Fuck Fest, it becomes a Flag Fuck-For-All, and all attendees must destroy the closest kitchen.
"Hey buddy, we should eat that microwave-sized object you've randomly been carrying around!"
"No, we can't, I have to save it for the Flag Fuck Fest. By the way, you don't have any drugs, do you?"