Eric Cartmen is a character in South Park. In most episodes he is the focus of the show. He is extremely negative and destructive in his thoughts and actions. That might have something to do with the fact that his mother is a hermaphrodite town slut and he is big boned(not fat).
1. Eric Cartmen : Now I am done measuring everyone's penis size.

Stan : Dude, your penis size is yet to measured.

Eric : I measured mine this morning. It is 13.7" long.

Stan : Your penis is not 13.7". We'll measure your penis in front of witnesses.

Eric : Now you want to measure guys' penises? What are you, a HOMO?

Stan : You just measured everyone's penis.

Eric : OK FINE.

Stan : (Measures Eric's penis size) It is 1.2".

2.

Eric : Mom! I want iPad2 with 64gb and 3g.

Eric's Mom : Eric, that is too expensive. We can't afford that. Look here, you can get Toshiba's tablet instead. It has all the features of iPad and is much cheaper.

Eric : BUT IT IS NOT IPAD. KYLE HAS AN IPAD.

Eric' Mom : I am not buying that.

Eric : (Turns his back towards his mom, squats and gets down his pant) Mom why don't you take me to the Greasemonkey. I liked to be lubed before I get FUCKED.
by sooommmeeoonnneeeee July 10, 2011

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A foul-mouthed, mean spirited, sexually confused, and morbidly obese 9-year-old on South Park.
Eric Cartman talking to Kyle:Shut up you fucking Jew!
by kyem2010 October 15, 2005

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A fat, Anti-Semetic cartoon character on South Park.
Kyle: Hey, can I come?
Eric: No!
Kyle: Why the hell not?
Eric: BECAUSE YOU'RE A JEW!!!
by Pogo Labeau August 01, 2005

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a realy cool dude who should be president.
sieg heil eric cartman!!!!
by satans little whore September 12, 2005

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Probably the funniest character in the popular series South Park.
Eric Cartman is a racist shit.
by Serminigo December 09, 2006

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The fat friend. He's a pimp, an O.G., He's the s#!+.
Eric Cartman: "I'm not fat, I'm big-boned."
by Southparkfan October 27, 2005

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Full Name: Eric Theodore Cartman,Relatives: Liane Cartman
A demented 9 year old who is a racist,foulmouthed,and somewhat witty and cunning obese bastard child who appears on the Emmy winning series South Park. He is Known to hate Kyle Brofloski often calling him a "dumb jew." And whoes mother is a reverred "crack whore" who has both male and female genitals.
Kennys Dad: Say Kenny wasn't that your fat foulmouthed racist friend Eric Cartman?
by Atticus Justice November 20, 2007

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The closest thing to the true nature of human kind.
Eric Cartman...is...GOD!
by cutthecrap January 21, 2009

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