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1.
King of the Douches, the biggest douche in all of the land. Every time he tries to talk a giant stream of douchewater squirts out. These douche squirts are often accompanied by his lies. Things like "I love you.", "Sex can wait.", and "I value you as a human being." It is important that you do not fall victim to any of these lies, or he will hit it, quit it, and toss you to the curb. And you will be yet another victim of his awe-inspiring douchedom. Douche Douchington is a rare species of Douchebag, which does not require food, but instead, requires hours and hours of the universal douchebag passtime, Call of Duty. In fact, the only thing he loves more than pussy is, indeed, his x-box. If it were at all humanly possible, he would stick his dirty dick into the x-box slot and fuck it's brains out. The Duke of Doucheville is a jack of many trades, and his varied talents include: playing Rock Band, playing paintball, playing Guitar Hero, lying to women, living with his parents, and not having a job. It is suggested that you avoid Douche Douchington at ALL TIMES. Men who are exposed to him often contract the Douche Disease, a highly common, seemingly incurable illness which will turn you into a walking, breathing pussy washer. Women who are exposed are generally not susceptible to this disease, but must ensure that they protect themselves from the other awful viruses, such as AIDS, crabs, and jock itch, which may be contracted when in his douchey presence.
Ryan is such an enourmous douche, he has been renamed Douche Douchington, the Duke of Doucheville.
by fuckyouryan March 24, 2010