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1.
A psychological condition caused by suppression of their true sexuality. Typical symptoms of the condition include childlike name calling, frequent episodes of Tourettes style speech/text/emails, a complete failure to see the brighter side of life and repeating the mantra "we are all fucked".
Person 1: "It looks like there are hard times ahead"

Person with Ditchfield Syndrome: You fucking gay cunt, why haven't you responded to my text?

Person 2: You only sent it 30 seconds ago and I am phoning you back straightaway.

Person with Ditchfield Syndrome: You twat. Do you realise we are all fucked and even though I am good at my job, a lovely wife and healthy kids life is fucking shit.
by Jackson Report March 15, 2010