Makes Bagdad Middle School look like heaven on Earth. People here are either potheads, scenes, fake preps, or wannabe gangstas. You minus well call the administration The Taliban -- an oppressive regime of Christian fundamentalists, with the faculty being their very own Al-Qaeda.

Bathroom stall sex, racial tension, homophobia, and sexism flourish at this school. Don't be surprised if you find a condom in the 6th grade area's drinking fountain. The buildings look truly like prison chambers, and staring at the mind-numbing purple and silver school colors too long will give you a serious migraine.

Most students here will graduate to a lifetime of therapy and mental institutions. But the lucky ones at DRMS shouldn't be too discouraged: by the time they start at Deer Valley, all the bitches and hoes will be washed up or a drop out by junior year (can you say "would you like fries with that, sir?").