Cheap, affordable kindling for the camper in a hurry.
"We'll never get this coal burning without a Daily Mail"
by Mr Ned September 14, 2005
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1. Snobbish and obsessed with 'proper diction'

2. Obsesses over royalty, members of the aristocracy, and the upper classes in the same way that the Sun obsesses over Z-list celebrities and WAGs

3. Home to Richard Littlejohn, a self-satisfied prick who can't spell the name of the Iranian president and therefore refers to him as President I'madinnerjacket; insists upon spelling things phonetically to make himself feel superior; scaremongers over: taxes, Gordon Brown, so-called 'political correctness' and the apparent failures of the UK police force; displays clearly bigoted views yet claims not to be racist

4. Home to Amanda Platell, who is clearly a female misogynist and hates Natasha Kaplinsky, presumably purely because, despite her many flaws, she isn't a moon-faced, woman-hating cow who writes for a tabloid rag

5. Home to a whole host of prejudiced idiots whose parents were probably Daily Mail readers and members of the National Front; they should be sat down and told that not all immigrants want to kill them, and no immigrants want their job. In fact, NOBODY wants their job.

6. Actually believed that bird flu was going to wipe out half the world; believed the same about every single so-called epidemic before it; predicts The End Of The World every other month, whether it be by asteroid, epidemic or nuclear war

7. Read by impressionable fools who base their own opinions on the Daily Mail's bullshit

8. Has an on-off feud with The Times; hates The Independent, Polly Toynbee, Tony Blair, and, surprisingly, David Cameron, because he does not subscribe to their particular brand of Right-wing politics; disdains the Sun, the Daily Star, the Mirror and the News of the World despite being only one rung above them (purely because their page 3 happens not to have a topless woman on it); sister paper to the Daily Express

9. Believes everybody should have a job, regardless of illness, is under the impression that depression is not a valid illness and that anybody on benefits is Leeching Off the Welfare State and Stealing Taxpayer's Hard-Earned Money

10. Obsessed with Taxpayer's Money and the fact that they are taxpayers

11. Obsessed with hating speeding fines and speed cameras

12. Has to have an article EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY about 'PC gone mad', purely to further its BNP-loving, homophobic, racist, Islamophobe agenda

13. Constantly self-publicises, telling its readers that it has won another award or that one of its precious 'campaigns' have made the world a better place. Fond of saying 'as we always said' or 'as the Daily Mail has said from the start'

14. Believes date rape and marital rape are completely acceptable, and that all women should join the Submissive Wives movement

15. Exaggerates everything
Daily Mail headlines:

"MUSLIMS ARE GOING TO KILL US ALL BY UNLEASHING BIRD FLU INTO THE AIR!!1 AND THEN THEY WILL STEAL OUR JOBS!!1"

"The Queen is awesome!"

"I am Richard Littledick and EVERYTHING IS BAD AND WRONG and I am a ridiculous, reactionary, pathetic buffon!!1"

"I'm Amanda Platell and I hate all women but ESPECIALLY NATASHA KAPLINSKY!!1"

"Everybody but us sucks"

"GET A JOB! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE HOOKED UP TO A VENTILATOR!"

"We r taxpayers, hurr hurr"

"Speeding cameras ARE SO CRAP!!1"

"Look; it's PC gone mad! A man was ARRESTED for beating up a Muslim! The horror!"

"WE WIN @ LIFE! LOOK, AN AWARD FOR MOST HOMOPHOBIC NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR!!!!!1!!!!1!!"

"Shut up about being raped and make my tea"

"THE TRAUMA OF BEING STOPPED FOR SPEEDING!!!1!!
by Dickface Faceofadick May 12, 2007
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I'm about to have a Daily Express moment: "STOP ASYLUM SEEK....". What was I saying?
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1.An awful newspaper with bad,bad jounalism.
It supported the nazis (no joke),is anti-abortion,anti-imigration,racist and homophobic.
Only last week it attacked My Chemical Romance and other such emo bands in a manner reminiscent of post-Columbine articles about Marylin Manson.The aricle claimed the band promote self harm and warned parents about the "dangerous" emo cult. Incredibly,it also caled Green Day emo.
In short,if The Daily Mail had it's way all teenagers would be locked up,the BNP would rule the country and we'd all wear swastikas.
2.A story made up of unbelievable lies is often reffered to as "Daily Mail-esqe"
" The internet has many sites dedicated to Emo fashion (dyed black hair brushed over your face, layering, black, black, black), Emo bands (Green Day, My Chemical Romance), Emo conversation (sighing, wailing, poetry)."

"The courting of misery and death is a long-established teenage tradition. How many bedroom walls have been plastered with posters of drippy pre-Raphaelite heroines, or Marc Bolan or Kurt Cobain?"

"But compared to the music, the poetry is positively cheerful. The Gothic bands have names such as Bloody, Dead And Sexy or Colder Than Death."

Qoutes from The Daily Mail.
2."And then the black guy stole my baby and the gay man shot my husband and then the emo kid commited suicide right there in front of me!"
"Are you from The Daily Mil?"

FUCK THE DAILY MAIL!
by bandanasrerad August 31, 2006
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A British newspaper founded in 1896 by Lord Northcliffe.

Its stance is very right wing some would suggest as far right (it supported the nazi party between 1933 and 1939 and called Hitler "Adolf the great" and had the headline "hurrah for the black shirts")

It is critical about the BBC and claims that it is biased to the left.The newspaper is strongly against homosexuality,immigration and the European union.

Notable columnists in the Mail are Richard Littlejohn, jan moir and amanda plattell. They have all courted controversy Littlejohn said after the Ipswich murders of five women, Littlejohn described the victims as "disgusting, drug-addled street whores" and their deaths as "no great loss". He added that for prostitutes, "death by strangulation" is "an occupational hazard" stemming from their "free will".
Shall I buy a Daily Mail or the Sun?

That Richard Littlejohn article in the Daily Mail shows that he is obviously a repressed homosexual!!
by LawrieCrash August 10, 2010
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An annoying jackass That no one is sure why he still has a talk show on the air. He thinks that he is funnier then hell, but he isnt, so he would blame the audience for his crappy jokes, saying that they are infact good, and they just suck.

Even though the audience sounds like theres laughing, and cheering coming from it, its actually just the fake sound, like what they use on crappy sitcoms, that they record of the good talkshows, like The Tonight Show and Late Night.

He is a bragger, that cannot help to not talk about himself. His jokes are fucking stale like shit.

He trys to use current popular things in culture to try to get ratings, but the only people he gets ratings are from people that fell asleep from the commercial bridge from Conans show to his, and left the tv on.

I hate him, you should hate him too.
Carson Daily loves himself, because no one will love him.
by 2-D November 25, 2006
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A person you cannot go a day without talking to.
'David, have u spoken to Atari today?' 'Ofcourse, She's my Daily fix. Cannot do without her'
by @realmace May 14, 2014
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