| 1. | Chuck Norris Facts | ||
|
Chuck Norris Facts are an Internet phenomenon of satirical "facts" about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris. The "facts" tend to involve absurdly exaggerated claims of Norris' toughness, attitude, virility, and masculinity stated in an absurdly serious tone; for example:
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Chuck Norris Facts:
more...
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. There are two types of people in the world… people that suck, and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris’ sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter. Chuck Norris is responsible for China’s over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly. Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota. When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders. If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he’ll beat it into you. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage. Whoever said “only the good die young” was probably in Chuck Norris’s kindergarten class. Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for “Chuck Norris’ basement”. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris wipes his rear with chain mail and sandpaper. Chuck Norris? sperm is so badrear, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a ... |
|||
| 2. | Chuck Norris Facts | ||
|
The phenomena that is Chuck Norris and facts proving he is one bad motha... SHUT YO MOUTH.
I'm just talkin 'bout Chuck.... These facts are popularly known in the realm of cool people. I'm serious. Look it up in Wikipedia. That is all, says Chuck. Chuck Norris Facts:
more...
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. There are two types of people in the world… people that suck, and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris’ sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter. Chuck Norris is responsible for China’s over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly. Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota. When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders. If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he’ll beat it into you. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage. Whoever said “only the good die young” was probably in Chuck Norris’s kindergarten class. Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for “Chuck Norris’ basement”. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris wipes his rear with chain mail and sandpaper. Chuck Norris? sperm is so badrear, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a ... |
|||
| 3. | Chuck Norris Facts | ||
|
Chuck Norris has never seen a punch coming. He has only seen men adjust their shoulder slightly before he roundhouse kicks them in their face.
Surprising Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, only slaughters. Chuck Norris choose the last pope Sharks don't bite people when Chuck Norris goes for a swim. A Bear can smell a drop of blood 2 miles away. Chuck Norris can smell fear 5. Norris made history in 1997 when he was the first Westerner in the documented history of Tae Kwon Do to be given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master. In 2017 he will make history again when kicks everybodys ass... AT THE SAME TIME. Chuck Norris doesn't carry atm cards, he only goes to registers and says CREDIT. When Chuck Norris was born he gave the doctor a smack on the ass. The doctor still cry's till this day. When Chuck Norris was a child he never asked WHY? Chuck Norris didn't live through the cold war. He only put on and extra leather vest. Chuck Norris is the only person that sees Shaq as a cute puppy. Chuck Norris Facts are known to be true if this world were a utopia.
|
|||
|
|
|||
| 4. | Chuck Norris Facts | ||
|
A stupid unfunny internet meme that is older than Chuck himself, but is still used today. The meme is mostly used by dumb 13 year old kids who think that it makes them cool. Chuck Norris once told Chuck Norris a Chuck Norris joke. But Chuck Norris didn't laugh. Because Chuck Norris Facts aren't funny.
|
|||
