Ex 2: “Oh no, It’s raining and I forgot my umbrella in the car”. “Why don’t you hold that big Chicken Sandwich over your head to keep you dry”.
Ex 3” “My girlfriend just left me for my brother, I am so fucking pissed I think I might kill myself” “Want some mayo with that?”
Ex 4: “I just had the worst day ever! My boss caught me watching porn on my computer and fired me. Then I got a speeding on the way home. And I think I gots the syph” “Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.” (This last example is most effective if you pretend to hold a chicken sandwich in your hands and then bite down on it as you make the chomping sound)