Captain Fucking Obvious

Someone who is such a Captain Obvious that you can just smack them in the face and rip their hair out.
Someone who doesn't understand when someone is using sarcasm or when to just shut the fuck up

Joe: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Billy Jean: "To get to the other side?"
Joe: "He didn't! He was too chicken!"
Billy Jean: "HAHAHA, that joke was so funny it's killing me!"
CAPTAIN FUCKING OBVIOUS: "Oh shit! She's dying someone get her a doctor!"
Billy Jean: "Hey Captain fucking obvious it was a joke you dumbass motherfucking shithead go suck a dick and choke and die on it."

by Estretoseten February 23, 2015

Captain Obvious

when a person states something that is apparent, or restates something that has already been said

(after your girlfriend slashes your tires)...
Person A: FML....every tire is flat
Person B: Brah...your girl is really pissed!!
Person B: No shit!...thanks Captain Obvious

by NYGaluv4eva May 10, 2015

Captain Obvious

A mocking reference to someone who unnecessarily states facts that are obvious or otherwise already known. It is intended as a spurious comparison of the individual to a superhero (e.g. Captain America) treating the individual's grasp of the obvious as though it were something impressive rather than common and ordinary.

Bob: Don't eat too much or you will make yourself sick.
Alice: Thanks, Captain Obvious.

by MC in TX May 10, 2015

captain obvious

Often used to refer to someone who ruins a joke by stating the obvious
Mostly used in comment sections of social media platforms

Hey look mom, it's captain obvious!
Oh no, captain obvious on the wheel again!

by ivebeenfriendzonedallmylife😥 March 27, 2023

Captain Obvious

A person who states painfully obvious facts or statements very loudly or repetitively.

Dude: Man, I think that guy just blew you off Jessica.
Jessica: Thanks, Captain Obvious

by Xcain February 29, 2020