CIADA flu (noun) – A pain that starts in your head and takes over the body slowly. Most likely caused my excessive exposure of an annoying voice from a/multiple clueless coworker(s) who are currently ill with diarrhea of the mouth.
Symptoms include: headache, pain in jaw (typically due to mouth hanging open or grinding of teeth), squinting eyes, fever (due to severe mental irritation), cramped fingers (after excessive emailing of coworkers with similar symptoms).
•Cutting phone lines so voices aren’t necessary.
• Threats of severe snow storms (so annoying coworker gets scared and leaves early)
•Whispering (so one-upping coworker cannot join in conversation and make your symptoms worse by shorting you on lunch money.)
If treatments do not work, please seek professional medical assistance immediately.