A mythological being, homosexual, and attracted to the Gluteus Maximus of the human race. According to legend, born in Transylvania, the "butt-vampire" was the weak, half-wit brother of Dracula and was constantly bitten in the Gluteus Maximus by his brother and other siblings. So, as the legend goes, Buttvula, the original "butt-vampire," bit humans in the Gluteus Maximus in order to receive the "thrill," if you will, that the other vampires receive when biting humans in the Sternocleidomastoid, "Neck."
Butt-Vampire!! You can't get me! You cant get me!! Fuck you!