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1.
A version of Bruce Springsteen's song "Born to Run" sung by Pork Scotch, the world's ugliest dickhead. First sung as a drunken karaoke performance and later recorded at Goofy Granny's expense. The record sold precisely 2 copies.
I've made a record therefore I'm young and cool.

But what the hell does the song mean?

It means I was born to Scotch. Scotch means to be cool. I was born to be cool.

OK Dickwad, you need to look up "Scotching" on Urban Dictionary.
by by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 20, 2009