Top Definition
Someone who fucks bagels (obviously) they insert their penis in the hole
1."Barratt fucked a bagel on the weekend whilst on pills"
2."That bagel really gave it to Barratt, ive never seen him so happy"
3."That Barratts such a Bagel Fucker"
by Daniel Moger October 04, 2006
(-noun) Someone who lives at home playing video games (eg: World of Warcraft, Call of Duty, Final Fantasy) and has nothing better to do than spread cream cheese on a warm bagel, and fuck it.
My boss is such a 'Bagel Fucker'!
by Blatent Lack of Judgement July 22, 2010
one who fucks bagels

christopher fucks bagels, so he is a bagel fucker
by stevemitchellisfuckinhilarious December 30, 2008
A bagel fucker is an individual who works at the local bagel shop, and is very proud of it. He acts as if he a serious important job that could not be done by an underpaid illegal immigrant, when in fact he works at one of many generic bagel shops, much like any Deli bagel, or grocery store employee, his skills are such that he can easily be replaces if he leaves, as his replacement will take one to two weeks to train.

This person looks super serious when giving you your bagel, is upset if you do not become a regular costumer, and always eats, even on the days he is not working, at his place of employment, willingly going back behind the counter with out pay.

He may also engage in the act of making a doughy Vagina, like Flesh light and having sex with it. Alternatively he may fashion a dildo out of flatbread and allow the manger to ritualistically sodomize him with it, with the intent of becoming the grand master of dough.
1. Have you seen that bagel fucker, he totally ditched out ona beach trip because he would have to work the next day and didin't want to be fired

2. Person one...Why is that guy recieving anal sex from a thirty year old store manger using a cock made of flat bread.

Person Two: Because he is a Bagel ducker.

Person one:Oh.
by The dread pirate roberts May 21, 2010
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