The only emo pokemon.

Absol is a dark type pokemon with no evolutionary family. It was first seen in Ruby and Sapphire version.
Pikachu is gay, Absol is emo.
by Niiro Kasumi June 07, 2011
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Absol is a BAMF that first showed up in the 3rd gen of Pokemon. It is often avoided due to the fact that it can sense danger with that blade... thing protruding out of it's head. So it's percieved as a magnet for bad luck. but all it really needs is some love. It doesn't evolve, but why would it need to? It's awesome enough on its own.
Dark and Ghost attacks do 1/2 damage.
Bug and Fighting do 2x.
Psychic does jack shit.
Everything else does whatever damage it's supposed to.
Can be found on Route 13 and in Great Chasm during the post game of Pokemon Black and Pokemon White, and on Route 120 in Pokemon Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald. Learns Perish Song at Level 65.
Trainer 1: Check it out, bro! Just caught myself an Absol!

Trainer 2: You lucky SOB! Can I borrow....

Trainer 1: Her.

Trainer 2: Her long enough to make an egg with my Ditto?

Trainer 1: Sure man, what are bros for?

Trainer 2: Awesome! Thanks man!
by Garde-Kid July 16, 2011
Absol, a Dark-type Pokemon registered as the 359th Pokemon in the National Pokedex, is well-known for appearing before catastrophes occur, often natural disasters. While these poor creatures can often be blamed for causing the trouble, the truth is that they're capable of sensing subtle changes in the weather with the horns protruding from the right sides of their heads, so they try to warn people, but, being a Pokemon, an Absol can pretty much only say "Absol Absol Absol," making for a truly unfortunate situation if this Pokemon is misunderstood.

Another notable comment that must be made about Absol is the mind-boggling beauty that this species possesses. To understand this, recall two of the most important qualities of the sky, those being the enlivening rush of innocent purity that it can send coursing through one's heart on a perfect summer day, and its power in the night to capture a soul and set it on fire to burn with the deep & mysterious intensity of innumerable stars suspended in a vast sea of the most wondrous shade of blue. You see, the Disaster Pokemon, Absol, captures this intense majesty in all of its 47 inches & 103.6 pounds of white & dark blue, vaguely feline splendor.

Oh, and the typical lifespan of an Absol is easily 100 years.
Absol: (Oh, darn, looks like a tornado's gonna strike tomorrow. Better go warn the villagers.)
Absol: *stands majestically atop mountain overlooking village*
Villager 1: Oh, no, an Absol! Must be another tornado coming!
Villager 2: Yeah yeah sure, tornado, but just... look...

Villager 2: *is completely entranced*
Villager 1: Oh... yeah...
Villager 1: *is completely entranced*
Villager 2: We should have tornadoes more often.
by absolitude April 19, 2015

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