|1.||A golden yacht for every billionaire|
A new economic policy proposed by the presidential hopeful M. Rommey. The presidential candidate and other proponents of this program argue that it will stimulate the economy via a “flush-down” effect, similar to the “trickle-down” effect that revolutionized the economic thinking during the Reagan administration.
The "A golden yacht for every billionaire" program is backed by economic research. A recent, double-blind study has revealed that billionaires are at least 15% more likely to spend time in their yachts if they are given additional yachts made out of solid gold. Because the plumbing of yachts is such that fecal waste is discharged directly into the water, providing golden yachts to billionaires will thuswise result in 15% more fecal waste from billionaires being available in the aquatic ecosystem. In this way, poor people may supplement their diets with partially digested corn kernels and discarded shrimp nubs that they may find at the water’s edge. The additional nutrients in the aquatic ecosystem are also expected to positively impact the fishing industry as billionaire feces is known to attract certain species of fish. As a result of the increased nutritive resources available, the average lower and middle class worker will have the energy to work three jobs instead of just two, resulting in additional tax revenue to fund the program and generally stimulating the economy.