3 eyed cry (or three eyed cry) is the name given to a male who is having a wank at the same time is crying his heart out.

The 3 eyes refer to the 2 "actual" eyes and the penis eye- where spunk comes out. This cleverly ties in with the fact that all 3 eyes produce a fluid- whether it be tears or spunk.

It usually takes place when a man is upset and proceeds to cry.. but comforts himself with a wank (whilst still crying obvs)
John 1: "OMG... how bad can this day get?"

John 2: "Whadup bro?"

John 1: "I just fell off my BMX and got a splinter in my pinkie"

John 2: "Hahah chode!"

John 1: "Im off for a 3 eyed cry. Sob"
by chodetastic January 02, 2011

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