"Son.. let me tell you about the birds and the bees"
*Dad explains*
"Any questions
Son:
"Yeah dad, why is the bird, having sex with the bee"
*Dad explains*
"Any questions
Son:
"Yeah dad, why is the bird, having sex with the bee"
by Sgt Fez March 20, 2006
by Sabrina May 6, 2005
Natasha waited for her fiancee, Ian, to come home from a buisiness trip. She wore nothing but sheer lace. The door open and she moves to him. "You kept me waiting. You look tired, would you like a boost of energy?" He turns to close the door. She throws her arms around his neck launching them into a deep kiss. He winds his toned arms around her waist pullling her close. She feels the distintive lump in his pants. She moves one hand down and into his pants. She massages him until she feels him harden up, a low moan in his throat. He then pulls her up around his waist and walks to the bedroom. He throws her on the bed and rips off his shirt and pants and jumps on top of her kissing more urgently. He removes her top and throws it aside exposing her breasts, large and beautiful. They flip over, she moves down his toned body feeling what she was after. She removes his boxers to expose his 10 inch dick. She sticks all of him in her mouth, swallowing all he gives. When she finishes he plunges his dick into her, she gasps. He moves in and out with growing intensity. Her sighs turn to moans getting louder. "I NEED MORE! FASTER! HARDER! NEVER STOP!" she demands. She screams, when he finds her sweet spot. They burst into double orgasms. He moans, reaching down to kiss her. They burst through multiple orgasms with pleasure. They finally clean up, licking away all evidence. They then embrace eachother, waiting for tommorow. After all, it was only Friday night...
best sex ever.
best sex ever.
by YourOrdinaryGirlNextDoor July 9, 2011
a few days ago i was at my friend Gavin's house. he's super hot and i was always into him, but because our parnets are friends, & he insisted that we were just friends, I was allowed to spend the night at his house. it was about 3:00 in the morning when i woke up to a soft moaning noise coming from the couch next to me. i opened my eyes slightly and saw him stroking a massive cock, it must have been at least 8 & 1/2 inches long. i took a deep breath and i could not take my eyes off of it. his eyes opened suddenly and met mine.
all of a sudden he smirked and said: "go ahead touch it. I know you want to. just do it." that was all the invitation i needed. i sat up, leaned over and wrapped my fingers around his thick hard penis. i gave it a tiny squeeze and he leaned his head back and sighed loudly. i slid my hand up the shaft and he groaned. then i leaned forward and licked his head a few times...he gasped, and this time i smirked. i got down on my knees in front of his couch and begin to like my way from top to bottom. i started at his lips and licked and kissed my way down his abs, all the way to the tip of his cock. he moaned loudly the entire time...his parents were in the other room, so i told him "you have to shhhh" with a sexy smile on my face.
i opened my mouth and acted like i was going to suck his dick but then went a farther back and took his testicles in my mouth. he cried out loudly and i came back up and kissed his mouth-hard. i told him, if this was going any further then we had to go in his room, cuz what i was going to do next would make him moan much louder than that. he then proceeded to carry me in his arms back to his room and threw me onto his bed. he climbed up in front of me, completely naked, and offered me that long, hard, dripping wet cock.
i leaned forward, kissed the tip, and took it into my mouth. i rolled my tongue around the tip, all the while tickling and rubbing his balls. i took a tiny quick nibble and he threw his head back and cried out: "ooohhhhh baby dont stop"
i began to bob my head back and forth now, and he moaned and wrapped his fingers and my hair.
"faster babyyy....faster please...ohhh yess. YEAHH" he groaned, and i felt his orgasm coming."i-, I'm cu-...cu-...ohh yess baby, yess caitlin baby your making me cum oh babe YEAH" he groaned in a deep voice. and with that he unleashed his load into my throat. I swallowed it all and sat up and looked at him. I had some of his semen on the cornor of my lips, and before i had the chance to get rid of it he leaned forward and licked it off; lapping around my mouth and then pushing me so i was laying down, and he was on top of me.he shuved his tongue into my mouth, and i sucked and nibbled it, all the while rubbing his still dripping cock. suddenly, he leaned back and grinned.
"Im going to repay you for that."
ecstatic, I sat up and pulled my dress-like t-shirt off, so that when i layed back down, i was wearing nothing but a lacy blue thong.
He reached underneath me, and slowly pulled my thong off. he gently spread my thighs and began to lick their inner. as i sighed with pleasure, he buried his face in my soaking wet, shaved pussy. i cried out as he tongued my dripping hole. he sucked and nibbled my clit and i moaned and clutched my hands in his hair. He resurfaced from in between my legs with some of my juice on his lips, which i immediately kissed and licked off. he kissed my passionately and moved his moth down to my chest, where he sucked my rock hard tits. I couldnt help but scream as he bit and sucked my left nipple gently, with three fingers in my pussy and the fourth rubbing my swollen clit. He removed his fingers, returned his face to my dripping cunt, and licked and sucked his way to my huge orgasm. he lapped up the juices off my pussy then he shoved his tongue in my mouth and i helped him drink my juices. after that we just couldn't handle the excitement, he whispered in my ear. "you okay?" I replied "yeah baby lets go!". i had a ferocious look in my eye which made him moan, i bit my lip then closed my eyes, and before i could open them i had already felt his hard cock in my steaming pussy, throbbing wildly. he was pushing so hard yet so slow, and i felt him deep, deep down inside me. i was moaning quietly until he started stabbing my pussy with his cock, then i was screaming in a pillow. i sighed, "gimme more! please more!" then he took his cock out and i asked "why'd you stop?" he replied "turn around". So i did just that. once i was laying on my stomach i turned my head to ask why but he was already about to ram his cock in my ass. "oh god, oh god, yess baby mmmm!" i said. I saw he was working up a sweat so after a few more minutes i took his dick out of my pussy, threw him down, got on top of him and grinding his cock in my wet hole. he grabbed onto my ass and said "oh jeez ohh!" he threw his head back in pleasure and exclaimed, "I'm going to cum! Wh...Where do you want it baby?" i said in a fierce sexy voice, "i want your cum inside me baby please!" "damn your sexy, babe mmmm" he said.
"OHHH!" we both screamed as we reached orgasm at the same time. i felt his warm juices inside me. he took his cock out and i licked off our juices. we started kissing passionately and soon after fell asleep holding hands.
all of a sudden he smirked and said: "go ahead touch it. I know you want to. just do it." that was all the invitation i needed. i sat up, leaned over and wrapped my fingers around his thick hard penis. i gave it a tiny squeeze and he leaned his head back and sighed loudly. i slid my hand up the shaft and he groaned. then i leaned forward and licked his head a few times...he gasped, and this time i smirked. i got down on my knees in front of his couch and begin to like my way from top to bottom. i started at his lips and licked and kissed my way down his abs, all the way to the tip of his cock. he moaned loudly the entire time...his parents were in the other room, so i told him "you have to shhhh" with a sexy smile on my face.
i opened my mouth and acted like i was going to suck his dick but then went a farther back and took his testicles in my mouth. he cried out loudly and i came back up and kissed his mouth-hard. i told him, if this was going any further then we had to go in his room, cuz what i was going to do next would make him moan much louder than that. he then proceeded to carry me in his arms back to his room and threw me onto his bed. he climbed up in front of me, completely naked, and offered me that long, hard, dripping wet cock.
i leaned forward, kissed the tip, and took it into my mouth. i rolled my tongue around the tip, all the while tickling and rubbing his balls. i took a tiny quick nibble and he threw his head back and cried out: "ooohhhhh baby dont stop"
i began to bob my head back and forth now, and he moaned and wrapped his fingers and my hair.
"faster babyyy....faster please...ohhh yess. YEAHH" he groaned, and i felt his orgasm coming."i-, I'm cu-...cu-...ohh yess baby, yess caitlin baby your making me cum oh babe YEAH" he groaned in a deep voice. and with that he unleashed his load into my throat. I swallowed it all and sat up and looked at him. I had some of his semen on the cornor of my lips, and before i had the chance to get rid of it he leaned forward and licked it off; lapping around my mouth and then pushing me so i was laying down, and he was on top of me.he shuved his tongue into my mouth, and i sucked and nibbled it, all the while rubbing his still dripping cock. suddenly, he leaned back and grinned.
"Im going to repay you for that."
ecstatic, I sat up and pulled my dress-like t-shirt off, so that when i layed back down, i was wearing nothing but a lacy blue thong.
He reached underneath me, and slowly pulled my thong off. he gently spread my thighs and began to lick their inner. as i sighed with pleasure, he buried his face in my soaking wet, shaved pussy. i cried out as he tongued my dripping hole. he sucked and nibbled my clit and i moaned and clutched my hands in his hair. He resurfaced from in between my legs with some of my juice on his lips, which i immediately kissed and licked off. he kissed my passionately and moved his moth down to my chest, where he sucked my rock hard tits. I couldnt help but scream as he bit and sucked my left nipple gently, with three fingers in my pussy and the fourth rubbing my swollen clit. He removed his fingers, returned his face to my dripping cunt, and licked and sucked his way to my huge orgasm. he lapped up the juices off my pussy then he shoved his tongue in my mouth and i helped him drink my juices. after that we just couldn't handle the excitement, he whispered in my ear. "you okay?" I replied "yeah baby lets go!". i had a ferocious look in my eye which made him moan, i bit my lip then closed my eyes, and before i could open them i had already felt his hard cock in my steaming pussy, throbbing wildly. he was pushing so hard yet so slow, and i felt him deep, deep down inside me. i was moaning quietly until he started stabbing my pussy with his cock, then i was screaming in a pillow. i sighed, "gimme more! please more!" then he took his cock out and i asked "why'd you stop?" he replied "turn around". So i did just that. once i was laying on my stomach i turned my head to ask why but he was already about to ram his cock in my ass. "oh god, oh god, yess baby mmmm!" i said. I saw he was working up a sweat so after a few more minutes i took his dick out of my pussy, threw him down, got on top of him and grinding his cock in my wet hole. he grabbed onto my ass and said "oh jeez ohh!" he threw his head back in pleasure and exclaimed, "I'm going to cum! Wh...Where do you want it baby?" i said in a fierce sexy voice, "i want your cum inside me baby please!" "damn your sexy, babe mmmm" he said.
"OHHH!" we both screamed as we reached orgasm at the same time. i felt his warm juices inside me. he took his cock out and i licked off our juices. we started kissing passionately and soon after fell asleep holding hands.
by sexybitchmama August 27, 2009
...no sex
Two words you never want to hear your girlfriend, wife
or otherwise ever say, as it is usually her threatening to
withdraw sex from your relationship for an indefinite
time period because you have done or said, or are about to
do or say something extremely stupid.
Can also be used to blackmail or extort by forcing you
to say or do something you don't want to.
Such as clean the dishes, iron the clothes, walk the dog,
pick up the kids from school, do things a woman should
generally do or spew secrets on your best mate and
so on and so on...
The no sex threat is a womans Straight Flush
It is not a Royal Flush because it doesn't always work,
not all men are that reliant on sex, but 98.97% of us are,
so it may aswell be a Royal Flush.
Two words you never want to hear your girlfriend, wife
or otherwise ever say, as it is usually her threatening to
withdraw sex from your relationship for an indefinite
time period because you have done or said, or are about to
do or say something extremely stupid.
Can also be used to blackmail or extort by forcing you
to say or do something you don't want to.
Such as clean the dishes, iron the clothes, walk the dog,
pick up the kids from school, do things a woman should
generally do or spew secrets on your best mate and
so on and so on...
The no sex threat is a womans Straight Flush
It is not a Royal Flush because it doesn't always work,
not all men are that reliant on sex, but 98.97% of us are,
so it may aswell be a Royal Flush.
1: What's up?
2: The wife used the no sex threat on me the other day
1: Hahahahahahahaha..... why?
2: She was having a girls night in with some of her girlfriends, I walked in, accidentally of course, they started interrogating me about Steve and his curre -
1: I don't like where this is going, you didn't tell them anything did you?
2: Well I refused at first but then she threatened me and -
1: You fuckin cunt, I hope you get raped by that pack of apes that escaped the zoo the other day.
Steve: Hey guys
2: Oh shi-
1: Bye guys
2: The wife used the no sex threat on me the other day
1: Hahahahahahahaha..... why?
2: She was having a girls night in with some of her girlfriends, I walked in, accidentally of course, they started interrogating me about Steve and his curre -
1: I don't like where this is going, you didn't tell them anything did you?
2: Well I refused at first but then she threatened me and -
1: You fuckin cunt, I hope you get raped by that pack of apes that escaped the zoo the other day.
Steve: Hey guys
2: Oh shi-
1: Bye guys
by rzhhhh July 10, 2010
Entering a penis into a vagina. Highly pleasurable expirence for many people. You will lose your virginity when having sex
Sarah and Ryan were looking up sex in the urban dictionary, they got horny and needed a something to pleasure them. Sarah and Ryan both knew they were “just friends” and kept repeating it in their head. Finally, the urge was too much for Ryan and he forced his lips to hers. Sarah was surprised but kissed back. Sarah could feel his toungue exploring every inch of her mouth. She felt that everything about Ryan was absolutely perfect from his abs and muscular body to his skull tattoo on his shoulder. The next thing they knew they were buck naked. Ryan had a monster dick and Ryan kept saying “ I want to get inside you” So Sarah did as she was told and leaned on the desk. Ryan teased her for a while until she pleaded for him to go in. Ryan went all out and her moans made him go faster. All Sarah could feel was the pleasure of his monster cock going through her. Ryan went faster and faster until Sarah had a full on shaking orgasm. Sarah then lay limply in Ryan’s arms.
by heyimmaperson May 16, 2018
I sit on the couch as I hear a knock on the door. I get up and open it. "Oh, hey Aaron," I say. I let him in and close the door behind him. "I forgot you were coming over." We sit down on the couch together and watch a movie together. We laugh and once the movie is over, Aaron says "That movie laughably stupid." I look at him with my jaw dropped and slight grin. "That movie is a classic" I say
"It was still a bad movie"
I pick up a pillow from the couch and hit him with it with a laugh. We proceed to have a pillow fight, hitting each other back and forth. We end up stopping after around ten minutes, we're staring at each other, breathing heavy. Suddenly he leans forward and kisses me. When he pulls away, I stare at him in shock. Then we kiss again, this time both participating. Soon our tongues were in each others mouths, and we're making out.
He tears off my shirt, and we lean back on the couch. He's on top of me, and he takes off his shirt, then my bra. He fiddles with his zipper and takes off his pants as we kiss. He kisses my neck, my chest, my stomach. He pulls off my panties. I moan as he eat out, and I put my hand on his head. "Oh, yeah" I moan. He starts putting his tongue deeper, and going faster. "Oh, yeah! Yes!" I moan. "Oh, I'm gonna come Aaron!" He comes up and kisses me. "Not yet" he says with a grin. He pushes his 9" cock in me all at once, and I let out a moan. He starts going faster and deeper inside me. "Faster! Harder!" I moan. He goes harder and faster, and goes as deep as he can. "Yes Aaron, yeah!" I moan. He keeps getting faster and faster. "Shit, Scarlet, I'm gonna come!" he moans. He goes harder and faster, and I yell "YES! OHH, YEAH AARON! FUCK I'M GONNA COME" I yell. And we both do. He pulls out after, and leans up and kisses me.
This is sex.
I pick up a pillow from the couch and hit him with it with a laugh. We proceed to have a pillow fight, hitting each other back and forth. We end up stopping after around ten minutes, we're staring at each other, breathing heavy. Suddenly he leans forward and kisses me. When he pulls away, I stare at him in shock. Then we kiss again, this time both participating. Soon our tongues were in each others mouths, and we're making out.
He tears off my shirt, and we lean back on the couch. He's on top of me, and he takes off his shirt, then my bra. He fiddles with his zipper and takes off his pants as we kiss. He kisses my neck, my chest, my stomach. He pulls off my panties. I moan as he eat out, and I put my hand on his head. "Oh, yeah" I moan. He starts putting his tongue deeper, and going faster. "Oh, yeah! Yes!" I moan. "Oh, I'm gonna come Aaron!" He comes up and kisses me. "Not yet" he says with a grin. He pushes his 9" cock in me all at once, and I let out a moan. He starts going faster and deeper inside me. "Faster! Harder!" I moan. He goes harder and faster, and goes as deep as he can. "Yes Aaron, yeah!" I moan. He keeps getting faster and faster. "Shit, Scarlet, I'm gonna come!" he moans. He goes harder and faster, and I yell "YES! OHH, YEAH AARON! FUCK I'M GONNA COME" I yell. And we both do. He pulls out after, and leans up and kisses me.
This is sex.
by freakyweirdo69 October 23, 2020