random person: hey guys i got a new phone
dumbass: didn't ask
random person #2: we could care less if you didnt ask, shut up cunt
dumbass: didn't ask
random person #2: we could care less if you didnt ask, shut up cunt
by Qyinni March 21, 2021
what people who are a fucking low life loser say because they can't think of anything because their 2 braincells are trying to comprehend what the conversation topic is
person 1: hey i'm playing minecraft
bitch: nobody asked
person 1: i don't give a shit if nobody asked you fucking dumbass
bitch: nobody asked
person 1: i don't give a shit if nobody asked you fucking dumbass
by nobobyaskedDONTGIVEONESHITBITC October 20, 2021
Just Ask Satan (the book) is a collection of Michelle J. Wong’s columns from his homonymous online project (he is twitching now as you read the word “homonymous”). With a brand of humor beyond good and evil, relentlessly mocking all subject matters, all peoples, all walks of life and all futile human attempts to make this misery of a world more livable, Just Ask Satan is nothing but a modern-day Miss Lonelyhearts for the evil at heart.
The book is organized in five sections dealing each with a specific topic: Family, Dating & Relationships, Society, Politics, Religion & Existentialism. These are only general headings, as each column displays a veritable tour de force of free association, nightmarish cognition and detailed vivisections of the absurd elements that fill the world we inhabit and the ways we conceive of it. A perfect blend of the sane indignation of a George Carlin and the rebellious outbursts of a Sam Kinison, Wong’s harangues begin in tender mocking and end in something dangerously close to actual social criticism (the politically-incorrect stuff great humor is made of, really). Here’s a bit from a question about the mistreatment of women in the columns of Just Ask Satan:
The book is organized in five sections dealing each with a specific topic: Family, Dating & Relationships, Society, Politics, Religion & Existentialism. These are only general headings, as each column displays a veritable tour de force of free association, nightmarish cognition and detailed vivisections of the absurd elements that fill the world we inhabit and the ways we conceive of it. A perfect blend of the sane indignation of a George Carlin and the rebellious outbursts of a Sam Kinison, Wong’s harangues begin in tender mocking and end in something dangerously close to actual social criticism (the politically-incorrect stuff great humor is made of, really). Here’s a bit from a question about the mistreatment of women in the columns of Just Ask Satan:
Ask Satan says:
What really summarizes the female inferiority in this show Sex & the City is the way that these four independent women in their “thirties” in New York City want nothing else but to show their independence by getting a man who has his shit together to support them.
And here’s a take on that wondrous miracle, motherhood:
Staying on drugs until the time you actually give birth to your E-tarded baby is simply a trendy thing to do. If you don’t believe me ask Barbara Bush.
Satan excels also at that most-needed intellectual service, pointing out the obvious:
Babies are known for not knowing shit and lacking basic survival skills. I would even go as far as saying that they don’t deserve to be called real people.
He has good things to share with those who enjoy the best things in life:
In the same way that emotionally unstable woman are fantastic in bed, unhealthy food is unbelievable in my mouth… I am on a strict diet of alcohol and Tabasco. But I do love mayonnaise wrapped in bacon.
And, of course, he can’t be bothered with his eternal nemesis, Jesus:
He is a jerk like that; I don’t know why the whole resurrection thing made him feel so special. Dracula did it too and so did the zombies!
What really summarizes the female inferiority in this show Sex & the City is the way that these four independent women in their “thirties” in New York City want nothing else but to show their independence by getting a man who has his shit together to support them.
And here’s a take on that wondrous miracle, motherhood:
Staying on drugs until the time you actually give birth to your E-tarded baby is simply a trendy thing to do. If you don’t believe me ask Barbara Bush.
Satan excels also at that most-needed intellectual service, pointing out the obvious:
Babies are known for not knowing shit and lacking basic survival skills. I would even go as far as saying that they don’t deserve to be called real people.
He has good things to share with those who enjoy the best things in life:
In the same way that emotionally unstable woman are fantastic in bed, unhealthy food is unbelievable in my mouth… I am on a strict diet of alcohol and Tabasco. But I do love mayonnaise wrapped in bacon.
And, of course, he can’t be bothered with his eternal nemesis, Jesus:
He is a jerk like that; I don’t know why the whole resurrection thing made him feel so special. Dracula did it too and so did the zombies!
by The Lord Jesus Cristo September 11, 2011
A search engine used for looking up information on the internet. Unfortunetly, Jeeves is not as good as Google, you can never get a straight answer out of this balding man that looks fairly sexy in his Halloween costume.
Little Merle: I typed in "Russian Goods and Services" and all I got were mail orded brides. Hmm, that one looks pretty decent, actually...Where is all the real information that real people need?!
Little Alvin: Try Google, it's way better!
Little Alvin: Try Google, it's way better!
by THE ALL KNOWING AMY May 7, 2004
bruh: asks a question out of nowere
broi: who asked?
bruh: THATS THE MOST DUMEST -
broi: but you started it and asked, so you asked, yet no one wants to hear you, so no one asked
broi: who asked?
bruh: THATS THE MOST DUMEST -
broi: but you started it and asked, so you asked, yet no one wants to hear you, so no one asked
by someone else thats not u March 1, 2021
Quite possibly the best comback in the history of comebacks. Can be used in any situation, like when your getting bullied, just respond with this and they will immediatly shut up.
Bully: Your so dumb, no one even cares about you!
Me: No one asked
Bully: Has a brain aneurysm and dies on the spot
Me: No one asked
Bully: Has a brain aneurysm and dies on the spot
by Bucko January 13, 2020
An unoriginal reply said either when someone has run out of things to reply with or said in an attempt to act defiant or edgy.
by Largemakesstuff May 3, 2020