"Soccer Mom" is a term made up during the election year 1996 to describe a white surburban homemaker wife who thinks that anything that is not explicitly Fundamentalist "Christian" is bad for her rotten little shits she calls her kids. She drives a bigass gas-guzzling SUV, tries to push her views on morality on everyone else, and goes shopping all the fucking time when she ain't taking her brats to soccer or piano practice or some other fucking stupid shit because she lives off her husband's wages. She gives money to a political party and tries to influence them to her standards. She's involved in PTA, the church "clique", you name it - she is influential and pushy in them all. In other words, an all-American stuck-up conforming judgmental BITCH.
Tipper Gore. Her kids got into drugs. I wonder why? Another example is the women who watch shit on the TV like that overblown yuppie Tupperware party that is called the View. On Sunday morning a Soccer Mom drops her daughter off to Sunday school, who then runs off with the cute boy in her class and they listen to a CD of "Satanic" music by U2, Pink Floyd, Rush or Ziggy Marley, then they smoke some Panama red and get it on in the grass.
by I Saw U2 Live Twice June 17, 2006
A soccer mom is a mom that lives in the suburbs,usually a homemaker,middle class or middle high class from the ages from 30-50 that have children.A soccer mom transport all her kids and everyone elses kids in either a minivan,sherman tank suv or a stationwagon.A soccer mom thinks her kids are angels when in reality the kids are a bunch of spoiled brat devils.A soccer mom life is very uniformed and want to keep up with the jones.When see a soccer mom by herself in her mini van or sherman tank suv means all the kids have been dropped off all school events.A soccer mom hang out paradise is a mall and spend tons of money on over price clothes for herself and the kids.May go for an overprice coffee.A cell phone is a soccer mom best friend to avoid those quiet moments to shoot the gossup with all rest of the soccer mom clan.A soccer mom version of dinner for the kids is go to mcdonalds and get the kids a happy meal.The type of music that a soccer mom will play for the kids is music from radio disney because it sound so wholesome.It is music for the whole family.A soccermom is an obsessed christian thinking if it isnt christian it is evil.Alot of soccer mom join organizations MAHR,PMRC,ESRP or some censorship group to think they are going to change the world and make it wholesome.A soccer mom doesn't believe in being an individual.A soccer mom want to become part of a bandwagon.A soccer lives a lifestyle being molded and sculpted on what society want her to be.
My example of a soccer mom driving in traffic is cutting everyone off in traffic.Have a hard time finding a parking space for the sherman tank suv.A soccer mom is known to be driving with a coffee on one hand and a cell phone on the other hand.May barely reach the steering wheel.
by 96cam August 6, 2007
1. The reason we have little nuisances like the ESRB RIAA and FCC
2. Any DECENT person's worst nightmare (right next to Billy Ray Cyrus)
3. Mothers who think that by making there kids slaves to pop culture, it would make up for the fact that they live shitty, cocaine-infested lives.
2. Any DECENT person's worst nightmare (right next to Billy Ray Cyrus)
3. Mothers who think that by making there kids slaves to pop culture, it would make up for the fact that they live shitty, cocaine-infested lives.
Teen: *Buying M-Rated game*
Soccer Mom: You're not 17. You have to be 17 or older to buy that game.
Cashier: Sorry, I can't sell this to you.
Soccer Mom: Games like this poison your mind.
Teen: No, assholes like you poison my mind.
Soccer Moms are like AOL cds, for every one that you get rid of, 10 more spring up.
Soccer Mom: You're not 17. You have to be 17 or older to buy that game.
Cashier: Sorry, I can't sell this to you.
Soccer Mom: Games like this poison your mind.
Teen: No, assholes like you poison my mind.
Soccer Moms are like AOL cds, for every one that you get rid of, 10 more spring up.
by Inspector Gadget March 12, 2005
Dumb whores who have nothing better to do than drive their son to soccer practice, bitch to the clerk in the EB Games/GameStop store at the mall about how violent video games are "Polluting our youth's minds" and orders them to take them off the shelves and no longer sell them, and get in car wrecks with their gigantic minivan/SUV.
Soccer Moms are dumb.
by Novasuna August 10, 2006
That bitch in the SUV who almost ran you over this morning because you had the nerve to try to cross her street at a crosswalk, when the little "walk" man was green, despite the fact that she had over one hundred feet to slow her fat ass down before crowding you out of the lane, which she wanted to use to make a right turn without signaling. Don't worry, she didn't see you: she was on her cell phone talking to some other soccer mom slut, and is therefore incapable of perceiving, acknowledging or responding to any outside influence or displaying any semblance of situational awareness that might prevent her from running you over. In fact, even though the law guarantees you the right of way as a pedestrian, you should always yield to the soccer mom or in general the dodge driver or SUV driver, so her fat kid can in fact get to soccer practice five seconds sooner: he needs the exercise.
To identify a soccer mom listen for the phrase -- "Fucking bitch, watch where you're going and get off the phone!"
We should all be nicer to soccer moms...they have it rough. Its hard to drink Starbucks, talk on your cell phone too loudly in public, run pedestrians over in your SUV and single-handedly change the movie, TV and video game rating system all at the same time.
The soccer mom should not be confused with the conventional stay-at-home-mom, who actually stays home, supports her family and raises children who don't grow up to be money-grubbing scoundrel frat boy/girls who are incapable of contributing to society, but rather raises well-mannered respectable young adults that don't make you want to puke every time you see them.
We should all be nicer to soccer moms...they have it rough. Its hard to drink Starbucks, talk on your cell phone too loudly in public, run pedestrians over in your SUV and single-handedly change the movie, TV and video game rating system all at the same time.
The soccer mom should not be confused with the conventional stay-at-home-mom, who actually stays home, supports her family and raises children who don't grow up to be money-grubbing scoundrel frat boy/girls who are incapable of contributing to society, but rather raises well-mannered respectable young adults that don't make you want to puke every time you see them.
by ucfryan November 2, 2006
a white suburban woman..... upper to middle class, who drives either a mini van or an SUV to shuttle her "precious cargo" to play dates, soccer practice, little league, PTA meetings. All the while, endangering the lives of other drivers and pedestrians on the road with her lead foot and cutting people off in traffic. A woman who also has an affinity for Starbucks, forcing her children to listen to Yanni, imposing time outs on her little "angels" instead of the more deserved smack on the ass that these little shits deserve, and maintaining her trophy wife status to her executive husband..... Mostly....... A woman who has no idea how to actually raise a child by her own wits, just subscribing to the BS that it takes a village.......
see above
by Stephanie November 22, 2003
A burden to the human race, a scourge of humanity, a disgusting demon from Hell. The reason for such atrocities like the ESRB, v-chips, and the freakin' FCC. Soccer moms are a subspecies of humans, like monkeys and chimpanzees. They are often middle-aged and blonde, but they act like they're 20 and they often wear track pants to show of their disgusting hippo-ass that will make you vomit. They think their little, bratty, teeny boppers spawned from the radioactive shit from the asshole of Satan. Seriously, their kids are like demons! Soccer moms often force their offspring to do some sort of after school (soccer, baseball, football, etc.). Soccer moms also have very strict rules.
Me: *listening to Banana 101.5 in my Dad's car while he gets some smokes and beer*
Soccer Mom: You turn that awful garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it up*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE TO SPACES DOWN!!!
Me: Fuck you.
SM: *angry groan* YOU... YOU...*stomps off in anger*
Me: What a bitch.
Soccer Mom: You turn that awful garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it up*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE TO SPACES DOWN!!!
Me: Fuck you.
SM: *angry groan* YOU... YOU...*stomps off in anger*
Me: What a bitch.
by Valintino the Big Surpremo August 15, 2010