You probably found this Jade while searching for your Jade, but you are wrong. This one is different. She is hotter. Taller. Sassier. And... lawyer-er?
Don't massage her too much; her skin is sensitive. But don't let her innocent looks fool you. She's hot and she knows it. Promoters will invite her to clubs to make it look like there are more hot girls there, and she'll drink whatever you buy her, and when you ask for her insta, she'll just bail and go see some other dude at a hookah lounge.
Protip: She doesn't like hookah though, so heads up guys don't take her to that on a first date!
Best ways to get her affection: write urbandictionary definition for her (too late bitches, I'm already doing it now), and help her find a cheap convenient gym (also too late, bitches!)
Also... she has nice legs. They make good seatbelts. But always follow local laws and/or customs regarding seatbelt use!
Don't massage her too much; her skin is sensitive. But don't let her innocent looks fool you. She's hot and she knows it. Promoters will invite her to clubs to make it look like there are more hot girls there, and she'll drink whatever you buy her, and when you ask for her insta, she'll just bail and go see some other dude at a hookah lounge.
Protip: She doesn't like hookah though, so heads up guys don't take her to that on a first date!
Best ways to get her affection: write urbandictionary definition for her (too late bitches, I'm already doing it now), and help her find a cheap convenient gym (also too late, bitches!)
Also... she has nice legs. They make good seatbelts. But always follow local laws and/or customs regarding seatbelt use!
Hinge: "You matched with Jade!"
Jade: "Hahaha you're cute. For good eyebrow threading services, go find a Persian lady in Aliso Viejo"
Me: *swoon*
TV Commercial: "Jaded of normal boring girls? Call Jade now! Satisfaction guaranteed!"
Jade: "Hahaha you're cute. For good eyebrow threading services, go find a Persian lady in Aliso Viejo"
Me: *swoon*
TV Commercial: "Jaded of normal boring girls? Call Jade now! Satisfaction guaranteed!"
by Parsa J. December 11, 2019
The coolest, cutest, nicest girl ever. With the best personality, also very quick witted and very smart. Everyone should get to meet her at least once. Every guy is lucky to have her. Her name's even very hot!!!!!!!!!!
Guy 1: Man, that girl is soooo hot!
Guy 2: Of course she is, she's Jade!
Guy 1: How do you know her name is Jade?
Guy 2: ...
Guy 2: Of course she is, she's Jade!
Guy 1: How do you know her name is Jade?
Guy 2: ...
by CupcakeCutie1462 March 14, 2015
emotionally numb. having been through so much pain that you simply give up and decide unconciously not to feel anymore. mental suicide.
its like she's used up all her tears. she cryed everyday for years and then she just sort of turned into a zombie. she's so jaded.
by khhdgdsjgldsg December 23, 2007
Can anyone tell me the definition for a guy named Jade? i ask this because it is almost unheard of, but I am a 15 year old Male and my name is Jade.
by Jade Polus-Criscione May 3, 2013
A truly beautiful person ..someone who stops and makes you think about every decision you've ever made. Jade will give you a reason to think ur whole existence and make you stop and realise that your life has only just begun now she is a part of it.. Kind and caring jade will do anything to please others and try to put a smile on your face no matter how down you feel.. She's beautiful inside and out and has an understated beauty that few should be so lucky to know ..keep her in your life and never let her go because shes a reason to wake up in a morning..a reason to do better and a reason to truly feel what it's like to have your heart stolen.. Oh and she likes to inflict pain..one sick little trait haha
See Jade she is the most beautiful person ever
Stop burning my hand jade
Would you like extra kidney beans in your chilli Jade
Stop burning my hand jade
Would you like extra kidney beans in your chilli Jade
by Johnrhino October 3, 2016
Jade is kind of a crazy person. She is super innocent but you wouldn't expect it. A great gymnist, she can often be found doing backflips when she's had a few drinks. She's easy to get along with and I absolutely love her. She is my soulmate and Jades and Joes are meant to be 2gethr. Their the best, nicest, prettiest people you will ever meet. Anyone's life will be brighter with a Jade all up in there.
by Jpw February 17, 2014