The largest lumberjack, this side of the Mississippi. He can wrestle 3 bears with one hand behind is back.
Hank hasn't spoken to his children in over 15 years. He doesn't pay child support.
Hank lives in a cabin in North Minnesota, where he lives with four squirrels. There were originally 5, but there was a fatality, during a thumb wrestling match. Rest In Peace, poor Billy.
Hank has a robust collection of flannel shirts. Used to model for Black and Decker.
Member of the Dean Koontz Family Tree.
Hank hasn't spoken to his children in over 15 years. He doesn't pay child support.
Hank lives in a cabin in North Minnesota, where he lives with four squirrels. There were originally 5, but there was a fatality, during a thumb wrestling match. Rest In Peace, poor Billy.
Hank has a robust collection of flannel shirts. Used to model for Black and Decker.
Member of the Dean Koontz Family Tree.
Squirrel 1: Hank Boontz, don't do it!
Hank: He shouldn't of disrespected me.
Squirrel 2: Hank, I don't think he knew that was your wife's closet.
Squirrel 5: I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
Hank: Challenge me to a thumb wrestling match for your life.
Splonald, from out of the corner: Did you guys remember to pick up cheese?
Squirrel 4: Yea, I got it.
Splonald: Thanks. *relinquishes back to the corner*
Squirrel 5: Tell your wife those acorns aren't for her. And those were the only nuts I was talking about busting in your wife's closet.
Hank after landing the final blow on Squirrel 5: Well shit, this is awkward.
Squirrel 3: THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!
Hank: He shouldn't of disrespected me.
Squirrel 2: Hank, I don't think he knew that was your wife's closet.
Squirrel 5: I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
Hank: Challenge me to a thumb wrestling match for your life.
Splonald, from out of the corner: Did you guys remember to pick up cheese?
Squirrel 4: Yea, I got it.
Splonald: Thanks. *relinquishes back to the corner*
Squirrel 5: Tell your wife those acorns aren't for her. And those were the only nuts I was talking about busting in your wife's closet.
Hank after landing the final blow on Squirrel 5: Well shit, this is awkward.
Squirrel 3: THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!
by Hank Boontz May 5, 2021
by Sonjo Jelvey June 22, 2019
The modern term created for thank you. It was created by an Oregon Insurance Agent who created a typo in an email to another agent but birthed a new word. The spanks hank. You smack it in the end of your email when you want to say thank you but hit your recipient with a confusion.
by Turbulentcucumber August 4, 2022
A socially awkward person. Quit he/she’s job to play arma 3 and all he does is drive around with a 28 year old dude who thinks he’s a fox. Has a really annoying voice no one can stand likes to make his words really long so he seems smart.
Wow I feel so bad for that retarded kid licking that pole too bad he dosnt know better reminds me of hank moody.
by hankmoody123 December 20, 2017
a Hank Gisselman is a being of pure enlightenment ,they are bowed down to all across the world, always a very important and god like being, many people look up to a Hank Gisselman.
by Savage legend July 6, 2017
by edh_bieber November 25, 2021