A Conserv-absurd is an argument that provides poor reasoning in support of its conclusion. Conserv-absurds differ from other bad arguments in that right-wing people find these psychologically persuasive, and therefore mistakenly believe its conclusion to be true even though it’s false.
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
There they go again trying to blame everything on the “liberal media.” But Conserv-absurds are the real reason the country is going down the toilet!
by ConcealedID July 13, 2009
Get the Conserv-absurdmug. I didn;t even realize I had to shat, and next thing you know I had an absurd turd. It was bigger than a baby, my poo baby!
by Bud E Love May 14, 2003
Get the absurd turdmug. Plays that veer away from the traditional convevtions of characterization, setting, and plot. Often referred to as modernist literature.
by some punk kid May 01, 2005
Get the theater of the absurdmug. A hand gesture in which one hooks both thumbs together and flaps their fingers like a bird's wings. Like its cousins awkward turtle and tmi turtkey, absurd bird is meant to show just how absurd a situation is. The more absurd the situation, the higher absurd bird flies.
Twilight Fan: Have you read Breaking Dawn yet?!
Random Guy: Yeah, absurd bird was flyin' high the whole time.
Random Guy: Yeah, absurd bird was flyin' high the whole time.
by Anonymous3827264832 September 29, 2008
Get the Absurd Birdmug. A psychological and social consequence of the generational culture divide and the introduction of the internet to youth, especially late Milennials/Gen Z, who conform to Satorian Ideals of nihilism, hopelessness, keen awareness, and a lethargic attitude to much of life's troubles. This has created a strange group of individuals who are totally alien from other generations, and who's motivations, personality, interests, and lifestyle are combinations and variations of infinite (often online factors) totally unseen in prior years. In simple terms, it is the extreme complexity of today's youth, and is what isolates them from their peers. In terms of personality, interests, and desire, they can be seen as "absurdist", or difficult to explain. In a sort-of faux mental-illness type way, where understanding what's going on in their head would take an entire wiki, and often a reason is lacking. It embraces the chaos of reality in the most nihilistic (and directionless) way possible.
tl;dr, the depressing autistic nihilistic absurdist way the Satori generation navigates reality.
tl;dr, the depressing autistic nihilistic absurdist way the Satori generation navigates reality.
by b4guette July 16, 2024
Get the Satorian Absurdismmug. "absurd" with a capital A, the term Camus uses for when our human need for meaning meets the silent universe that's like, ‘new phone, who dis?’
by anonymous March 28, 2024
Get the Absurdmug. When you go around in Urban Dictionary posting random nimcompoops like when you are attracted to a girl who has bread crumbs in her hair like when a North Pole of a magnet finds a South Pole of a magnet. Especially you don't know whether you're the North or the South pole. Or if you don't even darn know what a magnet is.
Hitler (spies one of his soldiers are playing on a phone near a time-machine): Whatcha doin'?
Soldier (without looking up from his phone): Playing with urbandictionary and posting about you.
Hitler (surprised there is stuff like phones): It's good! Lemme see. (Hitler snatches the phone.)
Soldier: I'd better scram and run...
Hitler (brings up his bazooka): YOU ARE AN urban-nerd-absurd.
Soldier: But you have to capitilize all the letters in your sentence......
Hitler:DIE!
Soldier (without looking up from his phone): Playing with urbandictionary and posting about you.
Hitler (surprised there is stuff like phones): It's good! Lemme see. (Hitler snatches the phone.)
Soldier: I'd better scram and run...
Hitler (brings up his bazooka): YOU ARE AN urban-nerd-absurd.
Soldier: But you have to capitilize all the letters in your sentence......
Hitler:DIE!
by DrW8ty February 13, 2021
Get the urban-nerd-absurdmug.