Skip to main content

Malcolm

Malcolm is a Simp, who is the best coach NA and has the middle name "The Strokes" because every chance he gets, he will bring up The Strokes. He also has like 6 songs on his playlist.
Bro you see Malcolm? He still hasnt gotten that picture yet
by swmn October 30, 2020
mugGet the Malcolm mug.

Malcolm

pulls people all the time, he's hot and pulls people at his middle school where he's the most popular person. All the girls want him but he only likes one girl named Brey. He has to fend off women everywhere he goes because they are so attracted to him.
She has a crush on Malcolm
by 8247872686324 April 4, 2022
mugGet the Malcolm mug.

Malcolm Castronova

A pre-industrial agricultural laborer or farmer of low social status who owns or rents a small piece of land for cultivation. This relates to the King Twylous Medieval Era.
Man, stop being such a Malcolm Castronova.
by mywifetookthekids123 October 5, 2018
mugGet the Malcolm Castronova mug.

Malcolm

Malcolm (also: Hazey Chulo, Papi Chulo, Papi Queue-lo, The Green Pikachu)
The undisputed sex symbol of the ticketing world. Malcolm isn’t just an e-ticketing boss — he’s a walking, talking upgrade. When he rolls up with his legendary carts, something happens: the air gets warmer, the bassline in your head gets heavier, and suddenly your whole body is telling you, “Yeah… I need that.”

As Papi Queue-lo, Malcolm makes standing in line feel like foreplay. His carts aren’t just stocked with tickets — they’re loaded with pure, unfiltered swagger. One glance at his setup can cause symptoms ranging from butterflies to full-on, can’t-walk-straight-after excitement.

Rumor has it that the Green Pikachu’s final form doesn’t just sell out shows — it sells out hearts, souls, and common sense. People have been known to buy tickets they can’t afford, to events they don’t understand, just because his presence is that irresistible.

Calling something “Malcolm” means it’s so sexy, so electrifying, and so dangerously tempting that resistance is pointless.

⚠️ Medical Warning:
Prolonged exposure to Malcolm or his carts may cause:
Sudden ticket-buying urges
Accelerated heartbeat when he makes eye contact
Loss of ability to stand in a normal queue again
Temporary dizziness from excessive swagger
Severe kaboosquakes in extreme cases
Example:
“That cart was so Malcolm, I almost had a kaboosquake.”
“Bro, I wasn’t even going to the gig, but Malcolm’s cart gave me… y’know… and now I’ve got VIP.”
by sameenerotic August 14, 2025
mugGet the Malcolm mug.

Malcolm Anderson

The goofiest goober known to man. His goober levels are held together by his sheer attitude and vibe as well as his severe lack of self awareness. Allowing his gooberocity to exceed the threshold of someone being a goober intentionally.

For example see "My backpack got pissed on"
Person A: Did you see the story Malcolm Anderson posted yesterday?

Person B: Oh my God I did. It was so fuckin goofy.
by Funny sandwich man August 29, 2022
mugGet the Malcolm Anderson mug.

Malcolm

The greatest fucking guy ever he is hella sexy he just makes people bust nuts all the time
by Daddy 12369 May 3, 2019
mugGet the Malcolm mug.

Malcolm

That Mf nigga
That nigga malcolm that boy
by Swervo_thatboy November 23, 2021
mugGet the Malcolm mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email