A sexual encounter where one is ejaculated on by a group of older men
James: How old were you when you had your first sloppy jalopy?

Michael: Oh I remember it well, it was for my 18th birthday the first time my dad took me to a Russian Bath House... he and his buddies thought it would be funny to surprise me with one for my birthday.
by Jimmy Bird March 11, 2022
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When you stretch a woman's bunghole pretty wide, and take a shit in her ass, and fill it up with all sorts of magical drinks, beverages and other fizzy stuff. You then jam a buttplug in her asshole for 30 minutes, the whole time she is running around a racetrack full of crippled deer in order to make the concoction rather fizzy.

She will then release the plug this, causing a rather large farting sound due to the built up gas, and a nice mess on the floor. Proceed to pick up this mess with a flask, and pour it into her mouth while farting down her nostrils. This will cause her to suffocate and regurgitate the delightful product that you have made in order to feed to your cat, who will enjoy it thoroughly, or your money back.
L: Dude I feel like a Sloppy Jalopy Fartcake with my bitch tonight.
C: Sounds delightful.
by Billy Bob Goat II June 19, 2009
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When you’re giving your man fellatio and just before he cums, you pull it out and finish in your hand then slap him across the face with it.
My boyfriend was a dick to me last night so I gave him a reverse sloppy jalopy
by Kiss me quick August 4, 2019
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before you finish, you stick your thumb in her butt with one hand and get some juice and than as you cum in your other hand, you pull your thumb out of her butt, slap her in the face and slid your thumb across her forehead.
karen did not expect to get a simba sloppy jalopy and was not happy with it!
by hockey! dude! January 2, 2021
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When you cum in someone’s mouth then shake their head to froth it up , then they spit it in your ass , you then proceed to squish the goop in your ass , this is when a friend comes in the room to lick the remaining splooge out of your asshole.
Hey bro my friend and I did a sloppy jalopy Bryant with some random chick we picked up in the club last weekend
by Sizzledhousecat May 30, 2021
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James: Yo Celia's abuella is pretty hot.

Michael: Oh i'd totally ride that sloppy jalopy!
by Jimmy Bird March 11, 2022
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