(Noun) - A sexually-aggressive older woman (see "cougar and MILF"), now past the point of potential attractiveness/interest from her own potential conquests; usually identified by rail-thin body, over-exposing tight clothing, a cloud of expensive perfume (presumably to mask the odor of decay), tight facial skin that favors stretched plastic wrap, unblinking reptile-like eyes, and makeup that looks like it was applied by a Hollywood special-effects artist.
This reference is also due to the creature's innate horror-film-like ability to appear attractive from the rear, yet upon turning around they will immediately startle the other person; crypt-keepers are commonly known to be able to frighten small dogs and can cause babies to burst into tears.
This reference is also due to the creature's innate horror-film-like ability to appear attractive from the rear, yet upon turning around they will immediately startle the other person; crypt-keepers are commonly known to be able to frighten small dogs and can cause babies to burst into tears.
by GraysonoftheWood February 8, 2010
the person who promises to pay money back and then makes every excuse in the book not to pay it back or to duck the situation.
by Brian April 22, 2005
Nickname for a biological mother who has done nothing but traumatize her children, then lose custody of said children, and choose drugs over everything and anything. Her idea of bonding is offering you to tag-along for a night of blowing bums and contracting STDs. She refuses to take accountability or apologize for selling her children for drugs, abandon them in strangers apartments, and every other fucked up thing she’s done.
Hey, who’s that?
That’s my biological mother, we call her the Crypt Keeper.
Like from Tales Of The Crypt?
Exactly, but crackhead version.
That’s my biological mother, we call her the Crypt Keeper.
Like from Tales Of The Crypt?
Exactly, but crackhead version.
by poisoned poet April 4, 2022