When you are extremely close to shitting your pants and the turd has already begun to sprout it can draw patterns in your pants when you walk. The resulting pattern can be likened to a chinese essay.
Neil: Look at Stu doing the john wayne walk to the bog.
Me: Yeah, he must be writing a chinese essay in there.
Me: Yeah, he must be writing a chinese essay in there.
by Wise Man October 7, 2003