The psychological condition suffered by many fans of the comic strip 'The Middletons' when Beatrice Middleton is not seen in the strip. Symptoms of this include, but are not limited to: intense
sadness, thoughts of 'Where is she?', and most importantly 'Why is she not here?'. This causes much
depression. The only known cure is intense exercise or massages using Martian Mud, which is Beatrice Middleton's favorite massage
cream.
Beatrice: What's wrong
honey? You look
sad. I know what it is, its Middleton's Disease, right?
Bryant: Yes, you haven't been in the strip for days. Where were you? I was beginning to think you'd never show.
Morris: Buddy, she can't be in every strip. She's got to have a
break once in a while. She's your Gunny Granny, for crying out loud.
Midge: (laughing) You know, he's right. Just because she isn't in the strip doesn't mean she isn't here. (picks up a jar of Martian
Mud) Do you want me to use this? You love it when Beatrice does it.
Bryant: A massage? You'd actually give me a Martian Mud massage? Okay, just make sure you
go all over my body. That's the best one.
Beatrice: That's one way to cure it. Hey sweetie, there's a soccer
game going on later. And I'm coaching it. Want to come?
Bryant: Sure, maybe we could bring Grandpa Hec and Grandma Flo. But would I still be
sad if I came?
Beatrice: No, you wouldn't be
sad. Middleton's Disease is tough, I know. But you'll get over it quickly. (she starts massaging Bryant with the Martian
Mud) There you
go, sweetie. Now, isn't that better? I love you,
honey. And I always will. A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do.
