Nabalzatal is a drug used by women with spouses addicted to any of the following maladies: ESPN, a nefarious substance known as Pron, or the insidious DTV. This medication effectively shrinks the male genitalia into small pea sized organs, which serve no discernible function, causing men to willingly give up their addictions to the aforementioned substances. This medication has not yet been cleared by the
FDA (as of this writing, August
2009) and is usually purchased through an
underground network of frustrated wives.
Treatment methods vary, but method of intake is exceedingly simple. Nabalzatal is flavorless, and can be mixed into most food substances, while remaining impossible to detect by sight or smell. Despite information to the contrary, it is widely believed to
work well when taken in conjunction with
alcohol.
Side effects are generally mild, and
may include: insecurity, shameless crying, a liking for Enya songs, and spontaneous shrinkage.
