1 definition by vance drift

Top Definition
A cheap arse piece of shit with a porsche badge, a car that the Germans truly fucked up just by releasing, forever tarnishing the good name of German engineering. Almost a bigger joke than the honda civic. Not rated by porsche purist's, enthusiasts or just any plain old cunt with the money to buy a ferrari, available to lower class scum who drive these cars to seem important and to make themselves look like they have money which they don't have and that their 944 is a cheap-shit bogan wagon which would get comprehensively destroyed on the 1/4 mile by honda odyssey's and toyota tarago's. Prone to clutch failure from 944 drivers riding the clutch too hard and just about any other fucking engine problem in the book, if two 944's dragged, they would probably both somehow lose, one would have clutch failure off the line and the others immobiliser would keep it grounded for its routine daily fuck up(yeah, blame the immobiliser).
And strangely enough the 944's cost of repairs is often very disproportionate to the actual cost of the car, once again, a pile of shit. A rival to the mighty rotary engined mazda rx7 which porsche tried to steal its design from in the early 1980's, and also another car that the 944 is absolutely OWNED!!! on the 1/4 by. Some owners are under the stupid impression that the 944's resale value is worth triple what they payed for even though they still triple fucked it over in the short time they had it (please somebody, explain to me how this theory works, wouldn't the value go down??? is it because they want to get the 20 g's they spent on repairs back???)
and like tom cruise says off risky business "porsche- there is no substitute" I have a substitute, it's called.... Not a fucking porsche 944!!!
944 driver- "the porsche badges add an extra 200hp to my car on their own, as does the milo tin muffler"
honda civic driver- "finally a car I have a chance to beat..."
spectator- "dude, u drive a civic, not cool".
944 driver- "look at all this rubbish, my porsche will kick all these skylines, rx7's, mx6's, celicas, supras, 200sx's, 300zx's, GTO's, s2000's, corvette's... pppffftttt u call a 5.7L V8 a powerful engine...I've got enough stickers on this car to shave 3 seconds off my 1/4 mile time"
corvette driver- "fuck off u cockdonkey hitler hailin' immigrant, my mum would beat you in her stock FWD automatic honda odyssey with 7 of yo mumma's kids in the car whilst towing a load of firewood!!!".
by vance drift February 28, 2005

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