the comand'r's definitions

taking a taser to a bomb site

Similar to taking a knife to a gun fight, but typically executed by a totally paranoid, uninformed idiot. Frankly, anyone with a brain would not take a knife to a gun fight; they just would not go to a gunfight.

Woody: where’s Herb?
Spencer: he got detained at security

Woody: detained at a Chargers game? Was he busted for smuggling booze?
Spencer: no, my dad is concerned about terrorists blowing up big crowds, so he always packs a taser that he bought off QVC
Woody: ah, taking a taser to a bomb site. What an idiot.

by the comand'r February 23, 2018

touch of the rona

A cough or sneeze in Spring of 2020

Paige: Sneeze Achoo!

Kate: You sick?

Paige: No, just allergies

Kate: You sure you don't got a touch of the rona? I do not see you being COVIDgilent in your day-to-day.

by the comand'r April 1, 2020

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion. Not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat

Hub: ah, dousche defined

by the comand'r November 24, 2023

crowd clearer

A monster fart

Paige: This is a great Zeppelin cover band, but this place is packed.

Jillian: I can get us some space with a crowd clearer. I let one go upstairs, and made room. I got another one chambered, so just give me the word.

Barney: I think we are better off with the crowd. I’ll pass, pun intended.

by the comand'r August 28, 2022

booger sugar daddy

A man who provides cocaine or other favors in exchange for sexual relations, i.e. a sugar daddy that used blow instead of money.

Tanya really scored with her latest boyfriend. We all know how much she likes the white powder and this guy is a real booger sugar daddy.

by the comand'r October 19, 2013

cough comet

A projectile that unintentionally flies out of your mouth when you cough. Typically, a piece of food which flies out and usually at an inopportune moment. Also known as a coughmet.

Last week, I was at a conference and Tony was introducing me to a potential investor. He was some Swedish guy and was snacking on some hor d'oeuvres. I was shaking his hand and I think something got caught in his throat because he coughed and something flew out of his mouth right at me. My catlike reflexes allowed me to dodge his cough comet as to avoid having a splotch of chutney land on my forehead.

by the comand'r November 15, 2013

themcott

woke modification to the term boycott

Jaba: it was a great weekend in New York. Saturday we rallied for No Kings

Herbie: you are an idiot to try to boycott the President

Jaba: technically, we were themcotting him. You cannot say ‘boycott’ any more. I choose love, Herbie

by the comand'r October 19, 2025