the comand'r's definitions

Elonch

A SpaceX launch by Elon Musk

Jillian: you watching the Inspiration4 lift off today?

Barney: yep, I love me an Elonch

by the comand'r September 18, 2021

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat with anonymous tips

Hub: ah, total douche defined...

by the comand'r November 16, 2023

lobby log

When traveling with your wife and staying in a hotel, the man is not allowed to shit in the hotel room bathroom. This international law applies even if she is not in the room at the time the man does his bidness.

Marrie: Herbie, I came back from my spa appointment and was fouled by what I thought to be a crowd clearer. I did some deuce diligence to learn that you capped in our hotel room toilet.

Herbie: Sorry babe. I went to drop off my lobby log downstairs, but they were cleaning the lobby bathrooms. Couldn't hold after 3 cups of coffee.

by the comand'r May 28, 2023

floater shot

A topper shot on a cocktail that floats on the top of the cocktail, aka a floater. As an extra kick to the drink

Adam: Hey bartender, give me a bushwhacker with a floater shot for a kick.

Bartender: One bushwhacker with a floater, coming up!

by the comand'r October 28, 2021

shit gravy

diarrhea

Paige went to Cabo last weekend and had a blast, no pun intended. Loved the food, but ended up making shit gravy because if it.

by the comand'r September 20, 2018

Heat seat

The uncomfortable situation when using a toilet and the seat is warm from the previous user.

Brendan: I was at work early this am and hardly anyone was in the office, though when I went to take a dump, I found the seat was warm.

Frank: Man, what are the odds. There are four stalls and you chose the one with the heat seat.

Brendan: ya, not great way to start my day. I was simply finishing my coffee.

by the comand'r October 15, 2016

fumpire

Short for "f-ing umpire" or a lame umpire/referee who makes poor or one-sided calls in a game, especially against your team.

That fumpire is horrible. If he had another eye, he'd be a cyclops!

by the comand'r October 3, 2013