the comand'r's definitions

shart fart

The noise made right before someone sharts themselves, typically followed by an awkward grimace and a "whoops!"

Did you see Timmy playing soccer today? The coach called him out after he started walking like a penguin? The referee was startled by the shart fart Timmy released at the goal crease.

by the comand'r October 10, 2016

two new ears

What a very talkative person is always in search of, e.g. someone who has not yet tuned them out.

At the party Tyler was droning on about politics that no on really cared to hear about as we had been with him all day and the guy did not stop talking. Four girls suddenly showed up the party and Tyler latched onto one of them as a new victim - two new ears.

by the comand'r February 24, 2019

crappy ending

The opposite of a happy ending when getting a massage. When you are so relaxed that you shit yourself during the massage.

Dana: Dude, I just had a great massage just now but I need to tip the masseuse big.

Eric: Why, happy ending?

Dana: Nope. Actually, it was the polar opposite. I was so relaxed I shat myself at minute 45.

Eric: Oh dude, crappy ending...

by the comand'r October 27, 2014

reaper reminder

What you get the morning after tangling with a Carolina Reaper pepper, the burning sensation of taking the dump to get it out of your body.

Ted really went after it when he ordered 10 Carolina Reaper chicken wings last night. He powered through 6 and then tapped out, though he took the remaining four to-go and finished them later in the eve. The next morning he got the early morning reaper reminder and remained skittish about his PMBM that was coming later that day. The whole experience gave new meaning to heat seat.

by the comand'r February 4, 2021

home coworker

Your spouse or family member when you are working from home. Corollary to office husband or office wife.

Dennis: Pam just walked in while I was on my conference call. As we have to share our home and both sustain our working environments, I am learning to manage along with my home coworker. When this Coronavirus blows over, I am going to introduce Pam to Jenny so that my home coworker can meet my office wife. Perhaps tonight I will call a meeting with my home coworker to put some effort toward producing a corona boomer.

by the comand'r April 3, 2020

ledershants

Lederhosen on a really short dude. Shorts/pants = Shants. Lederhosen/shants = Ledershants.

Herbie is so short, that when he went to Oktoberfest and wore his Lederhosen, they came off as Ledershants.

by the comand'r September 20, 2018

Throw a piss

Urinate

Dude, where’s the head. I gotta throw a piss.

by the comand'r November 29, 2019