the comand'r's definitions

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat with anonymous tips

Hub: ah, total douche defined...

by the comand'r November 20, 2023

loser loser drunken boozer

The opposite of winner winner chicken dinner

Barney whooped Danny last night in pickleball, which was no surprise, so he yelled ‘winner, winner, chicken dinner! and then taunted Danny with a finger point and a call of “loser loser drunken boozer” although Danny was stone sober, as he was observing Dry October, so clearly he just is not a great pickleball player, as Barney had at least three submarine shots

by the comand'r October 15, 2022

premacheer

A celebration which comes to early, e.g. a premature cheer

In a heated beach volleyball match, LMU hit a killer shot to looked like it won the match for LMU so the LMU fans went wild, but Kat had an amazing one-armed dig to pop the ball over for the point against LMU, who was already celebrating their victory. The LMU team lost the point during their premacheer

by the comand'r March 31, 2023

stay-cup

Opposite of a go-cup. A cup that is typically quite large, e.g. 32 oz. plus in volume and filled with booze which is used to discourage someone from leaving.

Amy: Drew has been drinking all day, and has maintained a nice buzz through the day.

Lisa: Ya, we went to breakfast and he started with bloody's at Maudie's and then I went boot shopping with the girls and Drew went over to watch the game with his college buddies. Apparently, he was going to leave at half-time, though they served him a screwdriver stay-cup, so he lasted to the end of the game. Ubered over with his go-cup. And here we are.

by the comand'r November 17, 2019

cough comet

A projectile that unintentionally flies out of your mouth when you cough. Typically, a piece of food which flies out and usually at an inopportune moment. Also known as a coughmet.

Last week, I was at a conference and Tony was introducing me to a potential investor. He was some Swedish guy and was snacking on some hor d'oeuvres. I was shaking his hand and I think something got caught in his throat because he coughed and something flew out of his mouth right at me. My catlike reflexes allowed me to dodge his cough comet as to avoid having a splotch of chutney land on my forehead.

by the comand'r November 15, 2013

walking like a penguin

The walk, or waddle, one does as a huge shit is approaching which has come on without a solid release plan causing them to clinch they butt cheeks and seek the closest toilet for evacuation.

Luke sure had a rough day at school today. Poor kid was locked out of the bathroom in the gym, so everyone was cracking up as he was walking like a penguin back to class to use the crapper there. I think I heard a shart fart as he crossed the playground.

by the comand'r October 10, 2016

premodel

A political term for the condition of a house that needs a lot of work/repair.

Paige: That house is in a beautiful location but needs a lot of work inside.

Jillian: Ya, I think the owners are in the premodel stage, though they have been there for 8 years…

by the comand'r August 20, 2022