19 definitions by terry deary
n. (a.k.a. chips and cheese) commonplace British delicacy, to be found in almost every 3am eaterie for around £2.00. Profoundly sautéed in 'graisse animale', the chips (fries to non-UK English speakers) are then drowned to taste in traditional seasoning (table-salt and industrial malt vinegar) before the 'pièce de résistance' - a delightful coat of the cheapest plasticky "cheddar-syle" cheese available. Voilà! Delicious.
The mis-pronounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of Britain's millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak English.
The mis-pronounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of Britain's millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak English.
*3 o'clock a.m., any town centre in the UK*
Turkish guy at till: Whatchoo wan'?
Drunk customer: What? £5 for a kebab? I'll have fookin' chips and cheese then.
Turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): Ey Sanjeet, two chip an' chee!
Turkish guy at till: Whatchoo wan'?
Drunk customer: What? £5 for a kebab? I'll have fookin' chips and cheese then.
Turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): Ey Sanjeet, two chip an' chee!
by terry deary February 24, 2006
n. Has several, widespread meanings - often depending on geography - such as blowjob or underwear. Can also be used as a generic insult.
The word is best used, however, to describe enemies who must be eliminated in videogames.
The word is best used, however, to describe enemies who must be eliminated in videogames.
Me (playing Goldeneye: Jesus, I'm getting blasted to fuck here! There's way too many gonks!
You (advising me): There's one to your right...
Me: Oh shit, I'm dead. These gonks just didn't stop. Fucking gonks.
You (advising me): There's one to your right...
Me: Oh shit, I'm dead. These gonks just didn't stop. Fucking gonks.
by terry deary December 7, 2006
n. A particular breed of ned or chav who, instead of being plain aggressive and threatening, is full of bravado and chooses instead to shout witticisms at passers-by. Favourites include:
"show's yer fanny!" ("could I please see your vagina?")
"gie's a gobble!" ("would you please perform oral sex on me?")
"we arra peepell!" (chanted throughout Glasgow housing estates whenever Rangers win the league - "we are the people?" God knows what it means)
Cheeky neds are more very curious, constantly asking you what you are doing or looking at and wondering if you'd care to duel.
"show's yer fanny!" ("could I please see your vagina?")
"gie's a gobble!" ("would you please perform oral sex on me?")
"we arra peepell!" (chanted throughout Glasgow housing estates whenever Rangers win the league - "we are the people?" God knows what it means)
Cheeky neds are more very curious, constantly asking you what you are doing or looking at and wondering if you'd care to duel.
Cheeky ned (at bus stop at 2 in the morning with bottle of Buckfast) : Whit you lookin' at?
Passer-by: Eh, nothing really. Straight ahead mostly.
Cheeky ned: Whit? Whit you daein'?
Passer-by: What am I doing? Going home. Why?
Cheeky ned: Whit? Who you talkin' tae?
Passer-by: I was under the impression I was talking to you.
Cheeky ned: Aw, whit man! You're gettin pure do'ed!
Passer-by: I hope your cigarette ash lands on your tracksuit.
Passer-by: Eh, nothing really. Straight ahead mostly.
Cheeky ned: Whit? Whit you daein'?
Passer-by: What am I doing? Going home. Why?
Cheeky ned: Whit? Who you talkin' tae?
Passer-by: I was under the impression I was talking to you.
Cheeky ned: Aw, whit man! You're gettin pure do'ed!
Passer-by: I hope your cigarette ash lands on your tracksuit.
by terry deary May 28, 2005
Lads, remember when Shakespeare got bawspanked by Joe Tash?
Me: What's yu0r favourite movie?
Shakespeare: The Bawspank Redemption
Me: What's yu0r favourite movie?
Shakespeare: The Bawspank Redemption
by terry deary May 29, 2005
RECIPE FOR GAELIC COFFEE:
Pour 35mls of a good Scotch blend (Chivas Regal, Antiquary, Black Label etc.) into a pre-warmed latté glass. Add a teaspoon of demerara sugar (or a dash of sirop de gomme), and stir.
In the meantime, drop a small amount of double cream in a cocktail shaker with loads of ice, and shake vigourously until the shaker is almost too cold to bear holding.
Add hot coffee to the whisky and sugar, about four-fifths to the top of the glass. Stir.
Very slowly drizzle the ice-cold cream over the back of a spoon onto the coffee. If done correctly, the cream should 'layer' over the coffee, so it looks like Guinness.
Now decorate the top with cocoa powder, chocolate sprinkles, coffee beans etc., and serve. Sláinte mhath!
Pour 35mls of a good Scotch blend (Chivas Regal, Antiquary, Black Label etc.) into a pre-warmed latté glass. Add a teaspoon of demerara sugar (or a dash of sirop de gomme), and stir.
In the meantime, drop a small amount of double cream in a cocktail shaker with loads of ice, and shake vigourously until the shaker is almost too cold to bear holding.
Add hot coffee to the whisky and sugar, about four-fifths to the top of the glass. Stir.
Very slowly drizzle the ice-cold cream over the back of a spoon onto the coffee. If done correctly, the cream should 'layer' over the coffee, so it looks like Guinness.
Now decorate the top with cocoa powder, chocolate sprinkles, coffee beans etc., and serve. Sláinte mhath!
by terry deary July 13, 2006