1 definition by shake'em hataz off

You know ur Serbian when...
When you pack to go for serbia and out of the 4 suitcases you are carrying, only one of them is actually yours
When 3 different strangers are waiting for you at the airport to collect their gifts that you are carrying with you
When you tell people you are Serbian, they always ask... „So ... What is it like there now?”
You live in the adult world but when you go home, you feel like your 9 years old all over again
When you can actually pronounce the „g” in jagnje
When you're at a soccer game and your tata is yelling „j**** ja” at the whole team and all the „amerikanci” know it can't be a good thing
Your parents tell you that „gurlz” love guys that can dance a good kolo
if your not married by the age of 20 your family wants to send you back home to find “a nice boy”
You have more than 200 serbian movies, but you have never watched them
You have a good husband if he works and doesn't beat you
At your christening a silver dollar on your navel will protect you from evil and make you rich
Baba says „palachinki” and everyone heads for the table
When she is mad your mama tells you that she will send you back to where you came from
When your tata does a running commentary through a movie and he thinks he knows everything that's going to happen even though he has never seen the movie
There is always „pita” on the kitchen counter and multiple pita dough bundles in your freezer at all times
After cooking Pita, you eat it for dinner, breakfast, lunch and dinner
Your parents don't expect you to make good grades, as long as they are better than everybody else's
Your tata yells at you „budala, neznas ništa!” when you tell him that the crowd isn't yelling „DIVAC”, they are actually yelling „Defense” during the Sacramento Kings game regardless if they are home or away
Seeing an animal's brain in the fridge doesn't freak you out
Your mom or baba only use two settings on the stove: MAX or OFF
When you call Santa „Deda Mraze”
When you mom or grandma tells you to pee before you go outside
When the only family u have here is your mom dad and siblings
You use the words brat i sestra for your brother and sister and for your
cousins
You coverted the garage into a kitchen just to feed all the family and guest that showed
When your tata chases the pigeons off the balcony with a mop, then sits down and says „dayll be back”
When tata allways „AMMA YOY”
When everyone always turns over their cup after drinking tursku kafu even though they know there is no one to tell them their fortune.
When your tata is looking at an old photo album and sees himself young and says „jao sto sam bio frajer” and ur mom tells him „molim te nemoj da s...š!”
Your parents spend hours talking about the best djubre for the vegetables
Your deda tells you that his family were the wealthiest in the village because they owned two cows and a donkey
When you go on holiday, you take the same suitcase that your dad had with him when he arrived in the country over 30 years ago
You are named after your ujko, stric, tata or deda
Your mother keeps buying and sending you clothes long after you have grown up and left home
You are the only race that suffers from PROMAJA
When TATA goes to any professional and says STA ON ZNA, NEMA POJMA
You know you're a Serb when your parents yell „kakva je ta skola” when you cannot complete their tax returns while you're in the third grade.
You tell your friends that you love sipak (rosehip) jam and they have no idea what it is
you know ur a serb

if ur reading this list and cracking up
by shake'em hataz off April 9, 2005
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