plus-size albert's definitions

Annendale

A condo complex in Agoura Hills, CA. It is directly across the street from Agoura high school. It has it's own road that the complex is built around but the road itself doesn't have sidewalks for some ungodly reason. It's famous for being the home of all the pothead-gangstas that go to the high school. The cops will often pay this place a visit and when they do, the wannabe gangsta kids will try to pick fights with them by fallowing the YouTube cop interaction script: "What're badge numbers?" and "Am I being detained?!". If you want someone to take your bicycle off of your hands, just put it here and it'll get stolen in no time!

"Dude, you remember Dylan? He apparently got arrested because he yelled at a cop" - dude #1
"What?! Where was this?!" - dude #2
"Annendale" - dude #1
"Oh that explains it" - dude #2

by plus-size albert December 29, 2020

California Cowboy

A person from California who is conservative and gung - ho. A personality that contradicts the typical Californian

"I love California but I've never really fit in"
"Yeah, you're just a California cowboy"

by plus-size albert May 23, 2021

Conejo valley

A region of southern California that consists of southern Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park, Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, a little bit of Calabasas, and Oak Park which is actually not apart of this region or county, but is considered one of the region's neighborhoods. Each one of these "communities" has a specific trait:
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents

Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools

Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles

"I live in Conejo Valley."

"Oh yeah? Which city?"
"Oak park"
"Huh?"

by plus-size albert November 22, 2020

Northern California

The region of California that is everything north of San Jose. It is MOSTLY untouched from the rest of California's chaos and is the only conservative and beautiful place left in California. It consists of pine tree covered mountains, peaceful suburban towns (like Redding, CA), and abandoned buildings that are prime for urban explorers. Unfortunately, the California plague doesn't stop evolving, so the beautiful forests that everyone knows and loves will be burned down in the next 10 years

"I'm from California." - Californian

"Oh don't you go vote blue now, ya hear?!" - Texan

"Don't worry I'm from Northern California" - Californian
"What's the difference? - Texan

by plus-size albert December 22, 2020

California Dad

A middle-aged white male that (usually) lives in a Southern California suburb. They are slightly overweight with a chubby face and balding. They will wear a baseball cap with sunglasses, short-sleeve shirt, cargo shorts, white socks with sneakers. They spout liberal propaganda any chance they get (which is strange because they come off as strict). They are often completely clueless about the world around them, because they will read a random statistic off of the local newspaper about how their community is "the safest in the tri-county area" and they will take it as fact and then lecture kids about how "good they have it" no matter how many incidents of crime affect those kids or show up in their neighborhood. And when it happens they often will brush it off as "kids being kids" because they did that when they were younger so they think it's normal. A California Dad is one of the most useless people you will ever meet.

"Did you tell your dad about how you had a bottle thrown at you?" - friend #1

"Yeah but he just said 'ThAts wHat TEenagers dO!'. To be honest, I think he did that crap as well." - friend #2
"He's such a California dad" - friend #1

by plus-size albert December 29, 2020

Old Agoura

The neighborhood of eastern Agoura Hills, CA. It is an area of the city reserved for farmhouses and horse owners. It is filled with bored-wannabe-gangster teens and cowboys. It has the highest crime rate, not just in Agoura Hills, but in the whole area due to the no street-light policy, which is in place to reduce light pollution, making it easier for people to get away with things without being seen. It has no sidewalks, which makes it very difficult to get from A to B without twisting your ankle (speaking from experience). It is also surrounded by dimly-lit warehouses and office buildings making it even more prone to sketchy characters from the highway and Agoura High-schoolers to committing thugery in the 69th degree. Beside that, it's really nice in the day, though.

"Wanna hang out in Old Agoura?" -dude #1
"Nah, someone stole my bike" -dude#2
"Again?!" -dude#1

by plus-size albert November 28, 2020