plus-size albert's definitions

California Dad

A middle-aged white male that (usually) lives in a Southern California suburb. They are slightly overweight with a chubby face and balding. They will wear a baseball cap with sunglasses, short-sleeve shirt, cargo shorts, white socks with sneakers. They spout liberal propaganda any chance they get (which is strange because they come off as strict). They are often completely clueless about the world around them, because they will read a random statistic off of the local newspaper about how their community is "the safest in the tri-county area" and they will take it as fact and then lecture kids about how "good they have it" no matter how many incidents of crime affect those kids or show up in their neighborhood. And when it happens they often will brush it off as "kids being kids" because they did that when they were younger so they think it's normal. A California Dad is one of the most useless people you will ever meet.

"Did you tell your dad about how you had a bottle thrown at you?" - friend #1

"Yeah but he just said 'ThAts wHat TEenagers dO!'. To be honest, I think he did that crap as well." - friend #2
"He's such a California dad" - friend #1

by plus-size albert December 29, 2020

California Cowboy

A person from California who is conservative and gung - ho. A personality that contradicts the typical Californian

"I love California but I've never really fit in"
"Yeah, you're just a California cowboy"

by plus-size albert May 23, 2021

A E Wright Middle School

A middle school in Calabasas, CA. It is known as the much more awful version of Lindero Canyon Middle School. It's famous for it's abundance of mentally ill students. For whatever reason, A E Wright tends to pump out students that threaten to hurt themselves or others either just for attention or they actually DO IT and it becomes a whole thing.

In fact, it is a common trope at Agoura High School that the drug-addicted burnouts of Agoura High come from Lindero Canyon Middle School, and that the mentally ill nut-cases come from A E Wright.

Talking about a kid from A E Wright Middle School:
"Did you hear what that kid did in art? Apparently he had a nervous breakdown!"

by plus-size albert January 2, 2021

Conejo valley

A region of southern California that consists of southern Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park, Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, a little bit of Calabasas, and Oak Park which is actually not apart of this region or county, but is considered one of the region's neighborhoods. Each one of these "communities" has a specific trait:
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents

Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools

Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles

"I live in Conejo Valley."

"Oh yeah? Which city?"
"Oak park"
"Huh?"

by plus-size albert November 22, 2020

Sheriff's Deputy

(Also known as a "Deputy Sheriff") is a police officer, but instead of working for a city, they work for the county that surrounds it and is employed by a "sheriff" instead of a "chief".

They're uniform is usually (at least on the US west coast) a tan/beige shirt with green or black pants with a star badge.

They patrol rural and suburban areas that don't have their own police departments. They sometimes go into big cities but only to bring prisoners from the city jail to the county jail.

They're usually the more chill cops but it always depends on where you live.

Example:
A cop working for the city of Los Angeles is a Los Angeles Police Officer

A cop working for Ventura County is a Ventura County Sheriff's Deputy
Usually in an emergency, the Sheriff has more authority, but a police officer and sheriff's deputy's everyday authority is the same

by plus-size albert December 24, 2020

Northern California

The region of California that is everything north of San Jose. It is MOSTLY untouched from the rest of California's chaos and is the only conservative and beautiful place left in California. It consists of pine tree covered mountains, peaceful suburban towns (like Redding, CA), and abandoned buildings that are prime for urban explorers. Unfortunately, the California plague doesn't stop evolving, so the beautiful forests that everyone knows and loves will be burned down in the next 10 years

"I'm from California." - Californian

"Oh don't you go vote blue now, ya hear?!" - Texan

"Don't worry I'm from Northern California" - Californian
"What's the difference? - Texan

by plus-size albert December 22, 2020