plus-size albert's definitions

Agoura Hills, CA

A small southern California city in Los Angeles County. It has a population of 20,000 and life here is somewhere in-between living in a charming small town, and EVERYTHING WRONG with a suburb. It's filled with nice but clueless adults and cool but sketchy teens. If many people would take five seconds to look away from the big houses and palm trees, you would see that it's not uncommon to find a used needle next to the sidewalk or have a bottle thrown at you while walking through a parking lot.

"Agoura Hills, CA has excellent schools! :)" - Clueless parent

by plus-size albert November 20, 2020

Lindero Canyon Middle School

A middle school in western Agoura Hills, CA. It's mascot is the cougar and is classified as the slightly less awful version of AE Wright middle school. Half the kids look like they should be in high school and the other half, SHOULD be in juvenile hall. It seems that the school believes that throwing water at a teacher AND getting arrested by the school cop in the same afternoon in front of the school is not enough to even suspend them. The school also doesn't believe that students are worthy of seats either, so any time you are called into the multi purpose room, you have to sit on the floor like a bunch of first graders. It's not all bad, though. You have the pep squad, which is basically a bunch of girls in shorts and jerseys dancing proactively to whiny pop music. Also you have a prominent skating culture here, and what that means, is that you have a pretty good chance on having 3'4 shrimp with daddy issues bailing right on you while walking passed any staircase with a railing. But it's a blue ribbon school, so I guess that's cool....

"Lindero Canyon Middle School has great teachers!" -parent
"Yeah, but only if the school allows them to do their jobs!" -kid who actually goes there

by plus-size albert November 22, 2020

Art kid

A type of kid in either middle school or high school in art class that is either a bored popular kid who had a class open so they just chose art. Or they are mentally ill drama queen that complains about their "anxiety" and gets hostile if you ask them anything about their past.

"Why's that kid yelling at nothing?"
"I don't know, he's probably an art kid"

by plus-size albert January 2, 2021

Annendale

A condo complex in Agoura Hills, CA. It is directly across the street from Agoura high school. It has it's own road that the complex is built around but the road itself doesn't have sidewalks for some ungodly reason. It's famous for being the home of all the pothead-gangstas that go to the high school. The cops will often pay this place a visit and when they do, the wannabe gangsta kids will try to pick fights with them by fallowing the YouTube cop interaction script: "What're badge numbers?" and "Am I being detained?!". If you want someone to take your bicycle off of your hands, just put it here and it'll get stolen in no time!

"Dude, you remember Dylan? He apparently got arrested because he yelled at a cop" - dude #1
"What?! Where was this?!" - dude #2
"Annendale" - dude #1
"Oh that explains it" - dude #2

by plus-size albert December 29, 2020

Sheriff's Deputy

(Also known as a "Deputy Sheriff") is a police officer, but instead of working for a city, they work for the county that surrounds it and is employed by a "sheriff" instead of a "chief".

They're uniform is usually (at least on the US west coast) a tan/beige shirt with green or black pants with a star badge.

They patrol rural and suburban areas that don't have their own police departments. They sometimes go into big cities but only to bring prisoners from the city jail to the county jail.

They're usually the more chill cops but it always depends on where you live.

Example:
A cop working for the city of Los Angeles is a Los Angeles Police Officer

A cop working for Ventura County is a Ventura County Sheriff's Deputy
Usually in an emergency, the Sheriff has more authority, but a police officer and sheriff's deputy's everyday authority is the same

by plus-size albert December 24, 2020

Northern California

The region of California that is everything north of San Jose. It is MOSTLY untouched from the rest of California's chaos and is the only conservative and beautiful place left in California. It consists of pine tree covered mountains, peaceful suburban towns (like Redding, CA), and abandoned buildings that are prime for urban explorers. Unfortunately, the California plague doesn't stop evolving, so the beautiful forests that everyone knows and loves will be burned down in the next 10 years

"I'm from California." - Californian

"Oh don't you go vote blue now, ya hear?!" - Texan

"Don't worry I'm from Northern California" - Californian
"What's the difference? - Texan

by plus-size albert December 22, 2020