plus-size albert's definitions
The region of California that is everything north of San Jose. It is MOSTLY untouched from the rest of California's chaos and is the only conservative and beautiful place left in California. It consists of pine tree covered mountains, peaceful suburban towns (like Redding, CA), and abandoned buildings that are prime for urban explorers. Unfortunately, the California plague doesn't stop evolving, so the beautiful forests that everyone knows and loves will be burned down in the next 10 years
"I'm from California." - Californian
"Oh don't you go vote blue now, ya hear?!" - Texan
"Don't worry I'm from Northern California" - Californian
"What's the difference? - Texan
"Oh don't you go vote blue now, ya hear?!" - Texan
"Don't worry I'm from Northern California" - Californian
"What's the difference? - Texan
by plus-size albert December 22, 2020
Get the Northern California mug.A small southern California city in Los Angeles County. It has a population of 20,000 and life here is somewhere in-between living in a charming small town, and EVERYTHING WRONG with a suburb. It's filled with nice but clueless adults and cool but sketchy teens. If many people would take five seconds to look away from the big houses and palm trees, you would see that it's not uncommon to find a used needle next to the sidewalk or have a bottle thrown at you while walking through a parking lot.
by plus-size albert November 20, 2020
Get the Agoura Hills, CA mug.A middle school in western Agoura Hills, CA. It's mascot is the cougar and is classified as the slightly less awful version of AE Wright middle school. Half the kids look like they should be in high school and the other half, SHOULD be in juvenile hall. It seems that the school believes that throwing water at a teacher AND getting arrested by the school cop in the same afternoon in front of the school is not enough to even suspend them. The school also doesn't believe that students are worthy of seats either, so any time you are called into the multi purpose room, you have to sit on the floor like a bunch of first graders. It's not all bad, though. You have the pep squad, which is basically a bunch of girls in shorts and jerseys dancing proactively to whiny pop music. Also you have a prominent skating culture here, and what that means, is that you have a pretty good chance on having 3'4 shrimp with daddy issues bailing right on you while walking passed any staircase with a railing. But it's a blue ribbon school, so I guess that's cool....
"Lindero Canyon Middle School has great teachers!" -parent
"Yeah, but only if the school allows them to do their jobs!" -kid who actually goes there
"Yeah, but only if the school allows them to do their jobs!" -kid who actually goes there
by plus-size albert November 22, 2020
Get the Lindero Canyon Middle School mug.A person from California who is conservative and gung - ho. A personality that contradicts the typical Californian
by plus-size albert May 23, 2021
Get the California Cowboy mug.A middle-aged white male that (usually) lives in a Southern California suburb. They are slightly overweight with a chubby face and balding. They will wear a baseball cap with sunglasses, short-sleeve shirt, cargo shorts, white socks with sneakers. They spout liberal propaganda any chance they get (which is strange because they come off as strict). They are often completely clueless about the world around them, because they will read a random statistic off of the local newspaper about how their community is "the safest in the tri-county area" and they will take it as fact and then lecture kids about how "good they have it" no matter how many incidents of crime affect those kids or show up in their neighborhood. And when it happens they often will brush it off as "kids being kids" because they did that when they were younger so they think it's normal. A California Dad is one of the most useless people you will ever meet.
"Did you tell your dad about how you had a bottle thrown at you?" - friend #1
"Yeah but he just said 'ThAts wHat TEenagers dO!'. To be honest, I think he did that crap as well." - friend #2
"He's such a California dad" - friend #1
"Yeah but he just said 'ThAts wHat TEenagers dO!'. To be honest, I think he did that crap as well." - friend #2
"He's such a California dad" - friend #1
by plus-size albert December 29, 2020
Get the California Dad mug.The neighborhood of eastern Agoura Hills, CA. It is an area of the city reserved for farmhouses and horse owners. It is filled with bored-wannabe-gangster teens and cowboys. It has the highest crime rate, not just in Agoura Hills, but in the whole area due to the no street-light policy, which is in place to reduce light pollution, making it easier for people to get away with things without being seen. It has no sidewalks, which makes it very difficult to get from A to B without twisting your ankle (speaking from experience). It is also surrounded by dimly-lit warehouses and office buildings making it even more prone to sketchy characters from the highway and Agoura High-schoolers to committing thugery in the 69th degree. Beside that, it's really nice in the day, though.
by plus-size albert November 28, 2020
Get the Old Agoura mug.