plus-size albert's definitions

California Cowboy

A person from California who is conservative and gung - ho. A personality that contradicts the typical Californian

"I love California but I've never really fit in"
"Yeah, you're just a California cowboy"

by plus-size albert May 23, 2021

Westlake Village

A southern California town that is a less interesting and richer version of Agoura Hills

"I live in Westlake Village!" -dude #1
"ok.." -dude #2

by plus-size albert November 20, 2020

Twin Oaks Shopping Center

A large strip mall in Agoura Hills, CA that acts as the "shopping mall" of the area. Mainly because the mall companies wouldn't be caught dead building an actual mall in this crappy of an area. It is full of stores and businesses that closedown within a week either because of horrible business management, crushing business taxes, or shoplifted blind by the wannabe-gangsta kids of the neighborhood. During the day it is crowded with brainless girls doing tik-toks with Starbucks in hand, and at night it's crowded with the wannabe-gangstas that go to Agoura High and drunk college kids (that don't even live ANYWHERE in the area) that throw bottles at you if you get too close. (Speaking from experience).

"Did you hear what happened at the twin oaks shopping center?"

"Was there a fire? Did someone get shot? Just tell me all ready..."

by plus-size albert December 22, 2020

Old Agoura

A neighborhood in the eastern part of Agoura Hills, CA. It is known as the original "Agoura" community before it became an official city in 1982. It is a bizarre mixture of mansions, miniature farms where people raise horses, and dimly lit warehouses where high schoolers will do burn-outs. For anyone who doesn't own a horse or car, it is hell to get from A to B without twisting your ankle, this is because the area has no actual sidewalks. As "peaceful" as the area seems during the day, it actually has the highest crime rate in the eastern Conejo valley. This is mainly because of it's no streetlight policy, which makes it pitch-black at night. Thus, allowing low-lifers from the SF valley to break into cars and slip away into the night. This also allows Agoura High students to commit most of their shenanigans here. So you will be cruising by white-picket fences with people brushing horses, turn a corner, and see an ENTIRE wall tagged with random graffiti, or you'll be chilling in your backyard and hear tires screeching a block over. Of course, the adults are clueless about this and it'll be up to you to keep your valuables safe. Although the Brightside is, it has lots of great hiking trails, so that you can twist your ankle faster :).

"You know, Old Agoura actually has the highest crime rate in Agoura Hills." - teen
"Oh no it doesn't! You kids don't know how good you have it!" - clueless adult

by plus-size albert December 20, 2020

Annendale

A condo complex in Agoura Hills, CA. It is directly across the street from Agoura high school. It has it's own road that the complex is built around but the road itself doesn't have sidewalks for some ungodly reason. It's famous for being the home of all the pothead-gangstas that go to the high school. The cops will often pay this place a visit and when they do, the wannabe gangsta kids will try to pick fights with them by fallowing the YouTube cop interaction script: "What're badge numbers?" and "Am I being detained?!". If you want someone to take your bicycle off of your hands, just put it here and it'll get stolen in no time!

"Dude, you remember Dylan? He apparently got arrested because he yelled at a cop" - dude #1
"What?! Where was this?!" - dude #2
"Annendale" - dude #1
"Oh that explains it" - dude #2

by plus-size albert December 29, 2020

Northern California

The region of California that is everything north of San Jose. It is MOSTLY untouched from the rest of California's chaos and is the only conservative and beautiful place left in California. It consists of pine tree covered mountains, peaceful suburban towns (like Redding, CA), and abandoned buildings that are prime for urban explorers. Unfortunately, the California plague doesn't stop evolving, so the beautiful forests that everyone knows and loves will be burned down in the next 10 years

"I'm from California." - Californian

"Oh don't you go vote blue now, ya hear?!" - Texan

"Don't worry I'm from Northern California" - Californian
"What's the difference? - Texan

by plus-size albert December 22, 2020