5 definitions by oggy ostrich

Top Definition
a troll like creature with a miserable inpolite and inpatient manner.
any response from this creature you get will always be negative unless
you are giving him food, ultimate team coins or cannabis.
this creature has a very small penis nicknamed maggie, hates christmas, gets stuck on the sofa and starts to mould into the fabric like a big fat sofa whore and is far to lazy to walk any distance so squirms along furthermore this creature only squirms along to get to food which it gobbles up like a warthog or to laugh at orphans.
alex: ahh look at squirmy wormy worthog
nick: haha isnt he hideous
josh: what a cruel individual he is
josh k: for fuck sake squirmy wormy worthog ate all my crisps and stole my ultimate team coins
squirmy wormy worthog: ah shut up, you dont understand, fuck you, give me food, haha an orphan unlucky
by oggy ostrich December 22, 2012

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The term is derived from the popular phrase 'no spray no lay' that aftershave salesmen in nightclub toilets to convince you to pay for a spray of aftershave. It describes terrible Rnb or Hip-hop music and is associated to the above phrase because the music is of such bad quality is could have been produced in a toilet by an aftershave salesman.

Examples include but are not limited to Soulja Boy, Drake, Pitbull, Lil wayne, Jason Derulo, Bobby shmurda, Big sean, YFN Lucci, Nicki Minaj, Rick Ross, Chris Brown, Dj Khaled, Young thug, Travi$ Scott, Lil uzi vert and many more pathetic artists.
Promoter: Yo lads, come into our club we got sick tunes and 2 for 1 on jagerbombs.
Harry: No thanks mate, its full of no spray no lay music.
Promoter: what do you mean man were playing Drake and Young thug?
Harry: I mean their horse shit and you would have to pay me to come in this club.
Promoter: :0

*guy pulls over to girl in pimped out Corsa playing Pitbull*
Guy: Hey gurl, where have you been all my life?
Girl: Avoiding you...
Guy: Dont be like that babe, do need a ride?
Girl: Not in that piece of shit with your no spray no lay music, you penis.
Guy: Your just a gold digger!
Girl: No your just pathetic. If you took those plastic diamond earrings out, put Big L, Gang starr or Nas on and bought a car that doesnt look like its been on pimp my ride with tim westwood I might have reacted differently.
via giphy
by oggy ostrich April 09, 2017

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When you ejaculate an arsenal of sperms a significant distance, at least three feet. Usually followed by a sense of pride.
*Angela is giving Jon boy head*
Angela: Jon boy when you cum dont fire it out the cannon I just washed my hair okay!
Jon boy: ha I fired it out the cannon, im so pleased with myself!
Angela: its all in my hair Jon, you prick.
Jon Boy: haaa,
Angela: your not getting head for two weeks.
Jon boy: ohhhhh no pleaaaaase.
via giphy
by oggy ostrich April 09, 2017

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Like a 'wet willy' except you just poke your finger in your dogs mouth and put it in your mates ear cos you lazy.
Ben: Im going to give Vanessa a slobbery willy.
Nick: haha how foul and unnecessary.
via giphy
by oggy ostrich April 09, 2017

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Someone that is crazy, spontaneous, mad, eccentric and perhaps mentally ill.
*ring ring, ring ring*
Caller: Hello is that Alex?
Unknown: No its the Psychiatric ward.
Caller: Oh whats happened to Alex.
Nurse: He was pursued by police after stealing a bottle of Vodka, downing it, getting naked and swimming in a lake. When they first attempted to arrest him he ripped a piece of wood from a fence and hit the policeman with it, so they put him in a riot van and took him here.
Caller: Hahaha oh no what an absolute fruit cake, whats the address of the ward I will come and see him.
via giphy
by oggy ostrich April 09, 2017

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