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nicholas d's definitions

How's your hole?

A rhetorical question asked to indicate that a person has been thoroughly schooled, reamed, or taken to the house. Pretty much means, "That must have hurt!"

A short, more polite form of, "How's your cornhole?" To make it less offensive/obvious, you may add "...family" or something similar to the end of "How's your hole?"
Banker 1: "I'm in equities, what do you do?"
Banker 2: "I'm in subprime mortgage trading?"
Banker 1: "Ooooh...how's your hole?"

Prisoner 1: "Man, I dropped the soap again last night."
Prisoner 2: "Ooooh...how's your hole...family?"

Yuppie 1: "I just got hit up for $5 on this half-gallon of organic milk and $10 a pound for this free-range chicken at Whole Foods."
Yuppie 2: "Ooooh...how's your hole...foods?"
by Nicholas D December 20, 2007
mugGet the How's your hole?mug.

shattuck

1) When you tuck your shirt back into your pants after just having shat (taken a shit).
2) One of the main streets in Berkeley, CA.
Buddy: "Isn't it weird how Berkeley named its main street after the act of rearranging your clothing after taking a shit?"
Guy: "Not weird at all. When you walk down the street you're guaranteed to see at least one bum pooping out in the open, so seeing a shattuck is pretty common on Shattuck Ave."
by Nicholas D October 14, 2019
mugGet the shattuckmug.

what's up now

A rhetorical question used when one is in a difficult predicament and the circumstances suddenly change in his/her favor, such as when the person in trouble pulls out a gat or when his/her posse shows up ready to whoop some ass. Often followed by "bitch" or "punk" to further assert dominance.
Barack Obama: "Now that I've won the Iowa caucus, I have the Democratic nomination in the bag. The New Hampshire primary is going to be a walk in the park."
(Hillary Clinton wins New Hampshire primary)
Hillary Clinton: "Hell yeah! What's up now, bitch???"
(Barack Obama wins the Democratic nomination)
Hillary Clinton (obviously insincerely): "Congratulations, Senator Obama. I am so happy for you. The American people definitely made the right choice."
Barack Obama: "Three words, Senator Clinton: WHAT'S UP NOW?!?!?!"
by Nicholas D February 26, 2009
mugGet the what's up nowmug.

Toob

To masturbate on a Zoom call. Progressive form: Toobin. Past tense: Toob'd.
The New Yorker staff fired Jeffrey Toobin for Toobin on an election simulation Zoom call after he misread the event as an erection stimulation call.
by Nicholas D October 20, 2020
mugGet the Toobmug.

gobbler

1) A male turkey.
2) A woman of loose morals. Short for cockgobbler.
1) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm so proud of you."
2) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. You're a disgrace to this family...and so is your grandfather, who paid that fat skank $20 for a hummer."
by Nicholas D May 8, 2007
mugGet the gobblermug.

getcha popcorn ready

A phrase coined by Terrell Owens of the Dallas Cowboys which signifies that one is about to put on a show, i.e. a spectacular performance. Refers to the act of getting one's popcorn before watching a movie.
Note posted on Terrell Owens' locker, October 2007:

"Dear Reporters,

Due to the magnitude of this week’s game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 (T.O.) about the other 81 (Randy Moss), I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday’s game.

Sincerely,
Terrell Owens

P.S. Getcha Popcorn Ready"


Piano teacher: "Timmy, have you been practicing that Beethoven piece for the upcoming recital? This is your chance to show everyone how much your skills have improved over the past few months."
Timmy: "Hell yeah, I've been on that shit like white on rice. I'm fin' to blow all you bitches away. I'm gonna rock that shit better than Ludwig himself. Better getcha popcorn ready! King Kong ain't got shit on me!"
by Nicholas D January 14, 2009
mugGet the getcha popcorn readymug.

first poster

A person whose main goal in life is to post first on an internet video, picture, or anything else that allows comments. Usually this person will simply post "First!" or something along those lines rather than making an insightful or meaningful comment. First posters, while they themselves often believe that they are serving a valuable purpose and/or accomplishing something by being first, are generally disrespected by much of the rest of the online community.
First poster #1: "I was the first to post on a Failblog picture on March 17, 2008. It ended up getting 946 comments."
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"
by Nicholas D July 27, 2009
mugGet the first postermug.

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