67 definitions by mr ben

Barclay's Banker

Cockney rhyming slang for someone who excessively masturbates, a wanker. Slightly better than calling someone a Gareth Hunt, at any rate.

"Get up the apple and pears, you Barclay's banker! I don't Adam and Eve it..."

by mr ben February 11, 2005

slighty

Not to be confused with slightly, a slighty is a semi-transparent night dress worn by women. Tragically, older women.

"Woa dude! I was watching your TV and your mom came down wearing this white slighty! I was so emabarrassed!"

by mr ben February 10, 2005

tombstone teeth

Usually occuring in older members of society, "Tombstone teeth" is a derogatory term used to describe a mouth consisting mainly of tongue and gums. Maybe, one or two teeth will stand out but no more than that. The ones on the bottom jaw seem more resistent to base-jumping out of the mouth, for some reason. Scientists are looking into this as I speak.

"That old Mrs Webster has some serious tombstone teeth. They're all yellow..."

by mr ben February 10, 2005

Bloody Mary

1. A classic cocktail made from vodka, tomato juice, salt, pepper, a celery stick and other spices. I'm told that I make the best in London which is annoying because I don't like them. Waste of vodka if you ask me.

2. The name we give to my insane grandmother. She doesn't mind...

1. "A bit too spicy, Mr Ben. I admit, I'm a pussy but I need some ice please."

2. "Would you like a cup of tea, Bloody Mary?"
"Am I free? Of course I am, dear..."

by mr ben February 9, 2005

newidium

A derogatory term, used to describe bogus-sounding chemicals found in various products within the cosmetics industry.

"New Pantene Pro-V Ultra! With polyhydro-oxides and vitamin G17! Restores the shine to your hair!" - "polyhydro-oxides" and "vitamin G17" are two examples of newidiums.

by mr ben February 8, 2005

spanner monkey

A largely useless individual whose only career prospects are to work in maintainence departments painting walls and replacing light-bulbs. May have questionable habits such as an excess love of porn, language that would make a soldier blush and a equally useless son.

"Why can't one of those spanner monkeys come up here to fix the lights?"

by mr ben February 8, 2005

gloop

To shoot or snipe someone in the back, without their knowledge (and probably, their approval).

"I would happily shoot him if he was on the job. Gloop him!" - Rimmer to Lister, "Red Dwarf - Justice"

by mr ben February 7, 2005