martin duxon's definitions

Burial at sea

The dignified and serene delivery of a stool, without splashback.

To dispense with the contents of ones rectum; crimp one off; release a payload from the bomb bay; fire off a missile; smoke a bum cigar.

"it was like a burial at sea, a ghost poo even, there was no sound or splash or even anything on the paper and it vanished round the u-bend as though it was never even there."

by Martin Duxon August 6, 2003

bum cigar

In polite after dinner conversation; a stool or dump.

"well, if you will excuse me ladies, i think I'll nip upstairs and light a bum cigar"

by Martin Duxon August 6, 2003

Irn Bru Poo

A condition arising after drinking too much of the soft drink "Irn Bru". Has the unusual effect of rendering your stools into particularly pungent dark, dense iron-like ingots that cut through the bog water as though it wasnt there, often producing considerable splashback and chipping the porcelain.

"I went to drown the chocolate slugs but it turned out to be a turd so big it couldnt be dispensed without vocal assistance, a groaner"

by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

xylophone

To move along a line of naked women who are all bending down, and spank their bottoms - which are of varying sizes - with one’s penis; to play a tune on women's buttocks. From the Greek xylo meaning ‘wood’ and phonnicus meaning ‘to hit tunefully’

by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

under thunder

Violent rectal belching of the arse’s natural kak gases which erupt from the fart fissure.

by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

anal announcement

To fart; the diction of friction caused by a passage of foul air through vibrating buttocks.

2. noun. A passage of said arse-speak; German rhetoric; a bottom burp; beef; poot; air biscuit; under thunder.

by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

turdis

One of those detatched, modern, portable space age looking public conveniences

I went into the Turdis for a Doctor Who

by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003