marcus solomon 's definitions

emo sucks

"Emo sucks" is a statement of fact in the same sense as "oxygen is good for breathing." "Emo sucks" is now the modern version of "disco sucks," with the all-important distinction being that enjoying disco in the nostalgic, silly sense is fun, but emo will never be cool.

Teacher: "Class, can somebody give me an example of indisputable fact?"
Student: "Emo sucks!"
Teacher: "A Plus!"

by Marcus Solomon September 17, 2007

scene kid

1. An emo clone in denial. The term was created by emo clones who were embarassed and tired of being called "emo." There is absolutely no difference between emo clones and scene kids except those refering to themselves as "scene kids" tend to be older; emo trendies who are old enough to drive.

2.

I am not emo! Even though I look and act like every other emo clone in the world, I am a scene kid! See my driver's license?

by Marcus Solomon November 25, 2007

Dorito Damage

To wound the inside of one's mouth with the sharp points of a Dorito's brand chip or any other brand of mouth-shredding snack food.

Ow! I just did some Dorito damage to the roof of my mouth when the sharp point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza-blister burn I got last night.

by Marcus Solomon April 23, 2008

emopinion

Any predictably morose and/or ignorant opinion expressed by a victim of the emo trend. Most emopinions center on the subjects of false sense of persecution, "Why does everyone hate us?" attention-getting self debasement, "My life is so terrible!" and the mistaken belief that the emo trend is something unique and counterculture, "We are true rebels!" despite the fact that the emo look is entirely conformist and the whiny/tantrum rock they listen to is completely unoriginal and contrived.

I asked that kid with the emotenuse why he was part of such a stupid trend and all he did was spout bitchy, predictable emopinions.

by Marcus Solomon September 26, 2008

scene

1. Any cultural or subcultural grouping such as the "skate scene," the "jock scene," the "punk scene," etc. Most recently, those who have become part of the sad, false genre known as "emo," have become so embarassed about themselves that they have adopted the word "scene" or "scene kid" in a pathetic attempt to mask their involvement in the most unoriginal trend ever to infect music and fashion. Most emo clones who call themselves scene kids tend to be older; an emo clone with a driver's license.

I am not an emo kid, even though I look like every other emo kid and listen to emo bands, I am a scene kid so stop making fun of me...I have a driver's license and everything!

by Marcus Solomon December 7, 2007

fruit boots

1. A slang synonym for "inline skates," which are also known by the brand name "Rollerblades." This term was coined by skateboarders frustrated by the mass influx of generally clueless, and unobservant inline skaters that always get in the way at skateparks. It is a perjorative term used for the purpose of insulting inline skaters as being homosexual.

2. High heel boots worn by a transvestite.

1. Those stupid dorks wearing fruit boots never look where they are going and always cause collisions at the skatepark.

2. The drag queen put on some fruit boots to go skating at the skatepark after taking off his/her thigh-high fruit boots.

by Marcus Solomon November 20, 2007

emo hair

Emo hair is a collection of variations of the angular, backward mullet, (esotericaly known as the "hypotenuse"). Emo hair style is also known as the "Swoosh," and should deliberately be associated with the slang adjective "Swish." Almost always black (dyed or natural), emo hair has the unique ablility to make its adherents brain-damaged to the point where they believe looking like others constitutes being unique.

A squared plus B squared equals the C squared hypotenuse of all those emo-clones' emo hair.

by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007