marcus solomon 's definitions

emo bitch

1. A redundant term, being that "emo" and "bitch" mean exactly the same thing in this context. To be an emo bitch is simply to be like all other emo clones: contrived negative emotion, false sense of personal insight, strict adherence to emo fashion with all its bland unoriginality, and incredibly poor taste in shallow, melancholy pop music. All involved with the emo trend are emo bitches.

2. Any tantrum or self-pitying rant from an emo clone.

1. Sullen Sally and her boyfriend Morose Marvin are emo bitches.

2. That emo bitch got all worked-up and is now in the midst of an emo bitch rant; go get some tissues and bandages.

by Marcus Solomon December 2, 2007

emo bashing

1.To speak the truth about emo with complete comprehension about emo's absolute worthlessness, unoriginality, and shallow nature. Ironically, emo bashing feeds into the emo self-pity spiral. While emo clones complain about being bashed upon, it fuels their all-important (false) sense of despair.

2. When an emo clone hits its head against the wall in the midst of a tantrum.

1. I am not emo bashing, I am just speaking the truth about stupidness of the emo trend.

2. Q: Why is that kid with the backward, crooked mullet hitting his head against the wall?
A: He is emo bashing himself because its part of his image.

by Marcus Solomon December 6, 2007

emotenuse

Derived from the mathematical term "hypotenuce," it is the longest side of the right-angle triangle formed by the standard emo haircut; the sloped line covering one or both eyes created by the backward, angular mullet favored by emo clones.

The length of an emo crybaby's emotenuce can be calculated with the formula A squared plus B squared equals C squared; C being the variable representing the length of the emotenuse.

by Marcus Solomon November 8, 2007

emo sucks

"Emo sucks" is a statement of fact in the same sense as "oxygen is good for breathing." "Emo sucks" is now the modern version of "disco sucks," with the all-important distinction being that enjoying disco in the nostalgic, silly sense is fun, but emo will never be cool.

Teacher: "Class, can somebody give me an example of indisputable fact?"
Student: "Emo sucks!"
Teacher: "A Plus!"

by Marcus Solomon September 17, 2007

emopinion

Any predictably morose and/or ignorant opinion expressed by a victim of the emo trend. Most emopinions center on the subjects of false sense of persecution, "Why does everyone hate us?" attention-getting self debasement, "My life is so terrible!" and the mistaken belief that the emo trend is something unique and counterculture, "We are true rebels!" despite the fact that the emo look is entirely conformist and the whiny/tantrum rock they listen to is completely unoriginal and contrived.

I asked that kid with the emotenuse why he was part of such a stupid trend and all he did was spout bitchy, predictable emopinions.

by Marcus Solomon September 26, 2008

Dorito Damage

To wound the inside of one's mouth with the sharp points of a Dorito's brand chip or any other brand of mouth-shredding snack food.

Ow! I just did some Dorito damage to the roof of my mouth when the sharp point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza-blister burn I got last night.

by Marcus Solomon April 23, 2008

scene

1. Any cultural or subcultural grouping such as the "skate scene," the "jock scene," the "punk scene," etc. Most recently, those who have become part of the sad, false genre known as "emo," have become so embarassed about themselves that they have adopted the word "scene" or "scene kid" in a pathetic attempt to mask their involvement in the most unoriginal trend ever to infect music and fashion. Most emo clones who call themselves scene kids tend to be older; an emo clone with a driver's license.

I am not an emo kid, even though I look like every other emo kid and listen to emo bands, I am a scene kid so stop making fun of me...I have a driver's license and everything!

by Marcus Solomon December 7, 2007