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marcus solomon 's definitions

Metoo

An identical or nearly-identical tattoo that was chosen merely because the person saw it on someone else.
Did you see that emo kid's stars on his left wrist and the "cut here" on his right wrist? What a dummy to get a couple of metoos.
by Marcus Solomon October 14, 2008
mugGet the Metoomug.

emotenuse

Derived from the mathematical term "hypotenuce," it is the longest side of the right-angle triangle formed by the standard emo haircut; the sloped line covering one or both eyes created by the backward, angular mullet favored by emo clones.
The length of an emo crybaby's emotenuce can be calculated with the formula A squared plus B squared equals C squared; C being the variable representing the length of the emotenuse.
by Marcus Solomon November 8, 2007
mugGet the emotenusemug.

Dorito Damage

To wound the inside of one's mouth with the sharp points of a Dorito's brand chip or any other brand of mouth-shredding snack food.
Ow! I just did some Dorito damage to the roof of my mouth when the sharp point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza-blister burn I got last night.
by Marcus Solomon April 23, 2008
mugGet the Dorito Damagemug.

emopinion

Any predictably morose and/or ignorant opinion expressed by a victim of the emo trend. Most emopinions center on the subjects of false sense of persecution, "Why does everyone hate us?" attention-getting self debasement, "My life is so terrible!" and the mistaken belief that the emo trend is something unique and counterculture, "We are true rebels!" despite the fact that the emo look is entirely conformist and the whiny/tantrum rock they listen to is completely unoriginal and contrived.
I asked that kid with the emotenuse why he was part of such a stupid trend and all he did was spout bitchy, predictable emopinions.
by Marcus Solomon September 26, 2008
mugGet the emopinionmug.

mantenna

A man's penis, specifically in the erect position.
My mantenna is detecting some estrogen in the area, so I should follow it to find the girl of my dreams.
by Marcus Solomon November 19, 2007
mugGet the mantennamug.

emo know it all

Anyone with enough sense to completely avoid the emo trend. Those who recognize the fact that emo is a false-genre cobbled together from bits of other music subcultures and that its adherenents are fixated on clonish fashion statements and overmoted, contrived negative emotions.
Q: Why aren't you emo?
A: As an emo know it all, I understand that emo is dumb, and therefore choose to ignore the trend.
by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007
mugGet the emo know it allmug.

emocaust

The final solution to the emo problem.

Emo is a false genre of music wherein its misled adherents believe they are part of a new subgenre of music, but in reality, emo is nothing more than melancholy pop music and/or homogenized bad metal with whiny/screaming vocals. The emos pride themselves on contrived negativity, false sense of insight and depth, and have adopted the standardized emo uniform in all its bland unoriginality (backward, angular mullet see:emotenuse, tight girls' jeans, tight T-shirts, Converse high-tops, and sullen expression).

The emocaust would solve the emo problem once and for all. All emo clones would be gathered into concentraton camps, and sent to "showers" of good music, which would reawaken the mind and return the emo zombie to a productive, self-determined future.
If I were president, I would build concentration camps for all the legions of emo clones, and then I would shower them with happiness and the emocaust would be complete!
by Marcus Solomon January 6, 2008
mugGet the emocaustmug.

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