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marcus solomon 's definitions

emo know it all

Anyone with enough sense to completely avoid the emo trend. Those who recognize the fact that emo is a false-genre cobbled together from bits of other music subcultures and that its adherenents are fixated on clonish fashion statements and overmoted, contrived negative emotions.
Q: Why aren't you emo?
A: As an emo know it all, I understand that emo is dumb, and therefore choose to ignore the trend.
by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007
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emocaust

The final solution to the emo problem.

Emo is a false genre of music wherein its misled adherents believe they are part of a new subgenre of music, but in reality, emo is nothing more than melancholy pop music and/or homogenized bad metal with whiny/screaming vocals. The emos pride themselves on contrived negativity, false sense of insight and depth, and have adopted the standardized emo uniform in all its bland unoriginality (backward, angular mullet see:emotenuse, tight girls' jeans, tight T-shirts, Converse high-tops, and sullen expression).

The emocaust would solve the emo problem once and for all. All emo clones would be gathered into concentraton camps, and sent to "showers" of good music, which would reawaken the mind and return the emo zombie to a productive, self-determined future.
If I were president, I would build concentration camps for all the legions of emo clones, and then I would shower them with happiness and the emocaust would be complete!
by Marcus Solomon January 6, 2008
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Emo guys

Easily-led trend followers that have adopted the cookie-cutter emo clone uniform that consists of ridiculously tight pants (often girl's pants), way-too-tight T-shirts (often girl's shirts), Van's or Converse high-top shoes, and any one of the multiple variations of the angular, backward mullet (see:emotenuse). Musically, emo guys listen to the sadly-growing legions of homogenized whiny pop bands and/or the growing-number of misguided metalic/punkish sounding groups that pretend to express anger and melancholy emotions that they have never truly experienced. Emo guys are often seen kissing each other as peer-encouraged homosexuality and acting stereotypically feminine is an important part of emo guys' image, and often is the result of having their testicles squeezed in tight pants for so long that testosterone production is impossible.
We saw a bunch of emo guys kissing because they wanted everyone to see how sensitive and emotional they are, but we all just laughed at how much influence a silly trend can have on human behavior.
by Marcus Solomon December 6, 2007
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emo bisexual

Another emo-based redundant term, with the first being the same definition as the last. An emo bisexual is anyone in the emo scene, due to the fact that bisexuality (real or contrived) is an essential part of the bland, unoriginal, and self-deluded, false-genre known as emo.
A: Is that emo kid an emo bisexual?
A: Duh. All of them are.
by Marcus Solomon November 16, 2007
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Emo Punk

An absolute oxymoron as "emo" is a false music genre created from drab bits of other music subcultures into a completely unoriginal music/fashion statement, whose adherents pride themselves on contrived self-loathing, exaggerated negative emotion in general, and looking like other emos, while "punk" is a distinct musical subculture that is an angry and creative rejection of "normal" society and "fad culture" in general. Emo fools also disregard the fact that all music is emotional, and instead delude themselves into believeing that only negative emotions are important.

Many emos attempt to make a direct connection between punk rock and the flacid emo trend. While "emotional hardcore" punk rock did exist in the early 1980s, the word "emotional" is a term that refered to the entire emotional spectrum and has nothing to do with today's unoriginal, cookie-cutter, fashion/musical trend.

Saying someone is an emo punk is like saying an animal is a monkey-fish.
That guy thinks he is an emo punk, but he is just a self-deluded trend-follower with an emotenuce haircut, little-girl's pants, and an Exploited T-shirt.
by Marcus Solomon November 13, 2007
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Dorrito damage

To wound one's mouth with the sharp and pointy parts of a Dorrito's chip or any other mouth-shredding brand of snack food.
OW! I just did some Dorrito damage to the roof of my mouth when the point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza burn blister I got last night!
by Marcus Solomon April 17, 2008
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mantenna

A man's penis, specifically in the erect position.
My mantenna is detecting some estrogen in the area, so I should follow it to find the girl of my dreams.
by Marcus Solomon November 19, 2007
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