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marcus solomon 's definitions

Emo Punk

An absolute oxymoron as "emo" is a false music genre created from drab bits of other music subcultures into a completely unoriginal music/fashion statement, whose adherents pride themselves on contrived self-loathing, exaggerated negative emotion in general, and looking like other emos, while "punk" is a distinct musical subculture that is an angry and creative rejection of "normal" society and "fad culture" in general. Emo fools also disregard the fact that all music is emotional, and instead delude themselves into believeing that only negative emotions are important.

Many emos attempt to make a direct connection between punk rock and the flacid emo trend. While "emotional hardcore" punk rock did exist in the early 1980s, the word "emotional" is a term that refered to the entire emotional spectrum and has nothing to do with today's unoriginal, cookie-cutter, fashion/musical trend.

Saying someone is an emo punk is like saying an animal is a monkey-fish.
That guy thinks he is an emo punk, but he is just a self-deluded trend-follower with an emotenuce haircut, little-girl's pants, and an Exploited T-shirt.
by Marcus Solomon November 13, 2007
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Dorrito damage

To wound one's mouth with the sharp and pointy parts of a Dorrito's chip or any other mouth-shredding brand of snack food.
OW! I just did some Dorrito damage to the roof of my mouth when the point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza burn blister I got last night!
by Marcus Solomon April 17, 2008
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emo hair

Emo hair is a collection of variations of the angular, backward mullet, (esotericaly known as the "hypotenuse"). Emo hair style is also known as the "Swoosh," and should deliberately be associated with the slang adjective "Swish." Almost always black (dyed or natural), emo hair has the unique ablility to make its adherents brain-damaged to the point where they believe looking like others constitutes being unique.
A squared plus B squared equals the C squared hypotenuse of all those emo-clones' emo hair.
by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007
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scene

1. Any cultural or subcultural grouping such as the "skate scene," the "jock scene," the "punk scene," etc. Most recently, those who have become part of the sad, false genre known as "emo," have become so embarassed about themselves that they have adopted the word "scene" or "scene kid" in a pathetic attempt to mask their involvement in the most unoriginal trend ever to infect music and fashion. Most emo clones who call themselves scene kids tend to be older; an emo clone with a driver's license.
I am not an emo kid, even though I look like every other emo kid and listen to emo bands, I am a scene kid so stop making fun of me...I have a driver's license and everything!
by Marcus Solomon December 7, 2007
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fruit boots

1. A slang synonym for "inline skates," which are also known by the brand name "Rollerblades." This term was coined by skateboarders frustrated by the mass influx of generally clueless, and unobservant inline skaters that always get in the way at skateparks. It is a perjorative term used for the purpose of insulting inline skaters as being homosexual.

2. High heel boots worn by a transvestite.
1. Those stupid dorks wearing fruit boots never look where they are going and always cause collisions at the skatepark.

2. The drag queen put on some fruit boots to go skating at the skatepark after taking off his/her thigh-high fruit boots.
by Marcus Solomon November 20, 2007
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emo bashing

1.To speak the truth about emo with complete comprehension about emo's absolute worthlessness, unoriginality, and shallow nature. Ironically, emo bashing feeds into the emo self-pity spiral. While emo clones complain about being bashed upon, it fuels their all-important (false) sense of despair.

2. When an emo clone hits its head against the wall in the midst of a tantrum.
1. I am not emo bashing, I am just speaking the truth about stupidness of the emo trend.

2. Q: Why is that kid with the backward, crooked mullet hitting his head against the wall?
A: He is emo bashing himself because its part of his image.
by Marcus Solomon December 6, 2007
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emotenuse

Derived from the mathematical term "hypotenuce," it is the longest side of the right-angle triangle formed by the standard emo haircut; the sloped line covering one or both eyes created by the backward, angular mullet favored by emo clones.
The length of an emo crybaby's emotenuce can be calculated with the formula A squared plus B squared equals C squared; C being the variable representing the length of the emotenuse.
by Marcus Solomon November 8, 2007
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