marcus solomon 's definitions
The final solution to the emo problem.
Emo is a false genre of music wherein its misled adherents believe they are part of a new subgenre of music, but in reality, emo is nothing more than melancholy pop music and/or homogenized bad metal with whiny/screaming vocals. The emos pride themselves on contrived negativity, false sense of insight and depth, and have adopted the standardized emo uniform in all its bland unoriginality (backward, angular mullet see:emotenuse, tight girls' jeans, tight T-shirts, Converse high-tops, and sullen expression).
The emocaust would solve the emo problem once and for all. All emo clones would be gathered into concentraton camps, and sent to "showers" of good music, which would reawaken the mind and return the emo zombie to a productive, self-determined future.
Emo is a false genre of music wherein its misled adherents believe they are part of a new subgenre of music, but in reality, emo is nothing more than melancholy pop music and/or homogenized bad metal with whiny/screaming vocals. The emos pride themselves on contrived negativity, false sense of insight and depth, and have adopted the standardized emo uniform in all its bland unoriginality (backward, angular mullet see:emotenuse, tight girls' jeans, tight T-shirts, Converse high-tops, and sullen expression).
The emocaust would solve the emo problem once and for all. All emo clones would be gathered into concentraton camps, and sent to "showers" of good music, which would reawaken the mind and return the emo zombie to a productive, self-determined future.
If I were president, I would build concentration camps for all the legions of emo clones, and then I would shower them with happiness and the emocaust would be complete!
by Marcus Solomon January 6, 2008
Get the emocaust mug.Anyone with enough sense to completely avoid the emo trend. Those who recognize the fact that emo is a false-genre cobbled together from bits of other music subcultures and that its adherenents are fixated on clonish fashion statements and overmoted, contrived negative emotions.
Q: Why aren't you emo?
A: As an emo know it all, I understand that emo is dumb, and therefore choose to ignore the trend.
A: As an emo know it all, I understand that emo is dumb, and therefore choose to ignore the trend.
by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007
Get the emo know it all mug.To wound the inside of one's mouth with the sharp points of a Dorito's brand chip or any other brand of mouth-shredding snack food.
Ow! I just did some Dorito damage to the roof of my mouth when the sharp point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza-blister burn I got last night.
by Marcus Solomon April 23, 2008
Get the Dorito Damage mug.Any predictably morose and/or ignorant opinion expressed by a victim of the emo trend. Most emopinions center on the subjects of false sense of persecution, "Why does everyone hate us?" attention-getting self debasement, "My life is so terrible!" and the mistaken belief that the emo trend is something unique and counterculture, "We are true rebels!" despite the fact that the emo look is entirely conformist and the whiny/tantrum rock they listen to is completely unoriginal and contrived.
I asked that kid with the emotenuse why he was part of such a stupid trend and all he did was spout bitchy, predictable emopinions.
by Marcus Solomon September 26, 2008
Get the emopinion mug.When a skateboard begins to tightly swerve back and forth from left to right with increasing velocity until the skateboard begins to undulate so rapidly that the rider is usually thrown from the board.
I was doing some downhill skateboarding and I went so fast that I got the speed wobbles and got pitched into the street.
by Marcus Solomon December 3, 2007
Get the speed wobbles mug.1. A synonmyous variation of "emo sucks," which is an indisputable fact because emo is a false musical/fashion genre with absolutely nothing new to offer other than its own bland hodge-poge rip off of other, genuine musical subcultures, false negativity, and pride in looking like all other emo clones.
2. When one sad emo boy sucks the sad, limp penis of another emo clone.
3. A pathetic "girl punch" and/or "sissy slap" thrown at anyone in the vacinity of an emo clone whom is in the midst of a contrived tantrum.
2. When one sad emo boy sucks the sad, limp penis of another emo clone.
3. A pathetic "girl punch" and/or "sissy slap" thrown at anyone in the vacinity of an emo clone whom is in the midst of a contrived tantrum.
1. I had a mystical vision, wherein the ultimate truth was revealed to me and inscribed in stone it said: "emo blows!"
2. I caught sad Sammy and homo Hank giving each other emo blows under the bleachers at the Sadie Hawkins dance.
3. That emo kid over there just unleased a flurry of emo blows and even though he connected, nobody felt a thing but amused pity.
2. I caught sad Sammy and homo Hank giving each other emo blows under the bleachers at the Sadie Hawkins dance.
3. That emo kid over there just unleased a flurry of emo blows and even though he connected, nobody felt a thing but amused pity.
by Marcus Solomon November 13, 2007
Get the emo blows mug.A synonym for "emo." "Core" being the common suffix attached to various musical genres (i.e., hardcore, metalcore, homocore, etc.), "mope" is added to the suffix thus creating a more apt and accurate term for the whiny emo trend.
Mopecore is sweeping the nation in the form of "emo", as it consumes the minds and bodies of millions of easily-led trend-following crybabies.
by Marcus Solomon November 25, 2007
Get the mopecore mug.