[e-mail]'s definitions

suv

Satan's Utility Vehicle. Nothing more than an irresponsible, gaz-guzzling, status symbol bought and operated by sexualty frustrated housewives, trophywives and suburban soccer moms who think they own the road and believe it requires a 3-ton monstrocity to haul 2 kids to practice while their cheating, corporate executive husbands are off banging their secretary. An SUV can often be seen occupying two parking spaces so it won't be hit by another "inferior" vehicle.

An SUV is an absolutely worthless, irresponsible automobile that does nothing but serve as a status cymbol to show off your money to others as if we care how much money you have. All SUVS are incredibly irresponsible to the environment and should be outlawed.

by [e-mail] March 26, 2008

Bible belt

An area of the U.S., primarily the South, that has an enormously large number of Protestants. It's also a stereotypical term that recognizes the far southern United States for its faith, morals and huge presence of Protestant denominations including the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), the world’s largest Protestant denomination. This stereotype paints people in the region as Rednecks, NASCAR lovers, radical Bible thumpers, and narrowminded bigots.

The Bible Belt stereotype is most prevalent in rural areas of the South, however.

by [e-mail] March 29, 2008

blame

The game Americans like to play because nobody wants to take responsibility on anything.

Politicians and basically everyone else in our society like to play the blame game.

by [e-mail] August 22, 2008

McMansion

An obscenely large home (usually of at least 3,000 square feet) in suburban America that is almost too big for its use; cheaply built from the inside out; require constant maintanence; stacked so close together in cookie cutter housing developments that you can hear your neighbor on the john; owned and occupied by pretentious, superficial people who care more about materialism and perceived status than actual value, and spend 14 hours six days a week working to pay off the over-inflated mortgage and have no time to spend with each other and experience life for what it is meant to be. The owners literally work themselves to death to pay the mortgage, who also probably struggle to pay off their 20 credit cards and SUV, but don’t have any other time to live a normal life and experience what life is all about. Despite their obscene size, they are occupied by mostly an empty nest couple who think they need like 5 bedrooms and a 3-car garage. They are built by mostly greedy developers who cram as many homes they can for profit.

But things are changing for the McMansion. They are being built less frequently and becoming less necessary as the size of the average American household declines, as the populations ages, and as the economy and housing market go to the dogs. Simply put, McMansions will soon be a thing of the past as people lose their jobs, money, life savings and everything else. In my opinion McMansions represent waste, greed, materialism and comformity, and are also probably one of the reasons the third world and even some ‘rich’ countries hate us.

The McMansion is the epitome of waste in America, and is nothing more than a status symbol for many pretentious suburban Americans who work to death trying to pay the mortgage and keep up with the Jones'.

by [e-mail] July 19, 2009

Scottsdale

A city of superficial attitudes, inflated egos and very narrow minds. The pursuit of materialism, excess, and keeping up with the Jones, is the rule in this Phoenix suburb of 250,000 residents, where people brag about the money they have and show off their car to gain recognition. They think money and materialism, instead of people and experiences, are the most important things in life. It’s a place where people often ignore you if--God forbid--you look only average. You get weird looks from people at the Scottsdale Fashion Square if you are not wearing the latest trendy wardrobe. Known to many locals as Snobbsdale or Snottsdale, its swankiness makes it home to many of the Phoenix area’s most trendy establishments: Nordstrom, Barney’s New York, Gucci and Kenneth Cole. And only in Scottsdale can you find restaurants that serve $70 steaks. Although most Scottsdale people wont admit it, many are probably on the verge of foreclosure, due to excessive credit card debt and ridiculous spending that will soon turn them poor like the rest of us. Gosh, then they wont be able to frequent their numerous golf courses, country clubs and resorts. What’s a rich person gotta do?

Scottsdale thinks its so rich, but is actually only upper middle-class. Heck, it isnt even the richest city in Arizona or Maricopa County. So I have no idea why the people seem so snooty. Despite its perceived affluence, there is probably more loneliness and misery per-capita in Scottsdale than anywhere else.

Scottsdale is named after James Edward Scott and is also nicknamed the West's Most Western Town.

by [e-mail] November 20, 2009

Home Improvment

One of the funniest and most clever 1990s sitcoms airing on ABC. The show centered around the stand up acts of comedian, Tim Allen. His character, Tim Taylor hosts a Detroit cable tool show called Tool Time. He is very masculine and interested in all aspects of the male mind: he is always building a hotrod in the garage, is sexist, HATES the opera, grunts, loves tools, loves sports and loves building things. He is however blessed with ineptitude. His ineptitude includes anything from glueing his head to a table to falling through a roof or a portapotty to dropping a two-ton beam on his wife's car. Home Improvement had a cleverly-written script and writers. It won a number of Emmys.

Home Improvment was a great show. Gags from the show:
1. the neighbor, Wilson's face NEVER being seen
2. everybody screws up Wilson's advice.
3. Tim's wife Jill cant cook.
4. Tim is always building a hotrod in the garage.
5. Tim's cohost, Al has an obsession with flannel.
6. Tim is always making fun of Al, his mother-in-law and basically anything he doesnt understand
7. Wilson's amazing knowledge of culture and history.

by [e-mail] October 15, 2007

small town

It amazes me of all the silly descriptions of a small town by ignorant people on here. No, I dont live in one, but I did for a while. They are not all the same. Yes, some are poor, but some are also very affluent (Lake Zurich, Illinois for example).

A small town is the anithesis of a big city, which is not necessarily a bad thing. A small town is a community where people are a generally friendly, laid back folk, and where everybody knows almost everybody there. If you stop and ask for directions, the person giving you the directions will probably turn it into a conversation. The community is probably a speed trap, but the police who give you a speeding ticket are often known and called by their first name. You are usually not afraid to unlock your doors (although I wouldn't do it). Most businesses in town are family-owned ma-and-pa stores threatened by the Walmart nearby, which is probably the community's largest employer. The Mayor probably has another job on the side. You also know your'e in a small town because the people raise a stink over a new business coming in, fearing that it will create "traffic congestion." Some small towns can be suburbs or exurbs of a large meropolitan area.

A small town is the total antithesis of a big city, and is not necessarily a bad thing.

by [e-mail] May 14, 2008