[e-mail]'s definitions

prison

A place you go in straight but come out gay.

A place where you go in having a bitch but coming out being a bitch.

The only place where a former tough guy becomes big Bubba’s bitch.

Prison is not a nice place to be.

by [e-mail] March 31, 2008

Jesus

1. The single most imporant human being in eternity and human history. We even have our calenders dated according to his existance.
2. The Lion of the Tribe of Judah
3. The Rose of Sharon
4. The Bright and Morning Star
5. The Messiah
6. The Son of God and 2nd personality of the Holy Trinity
7. The Prince of Peace
8. The Great Shepard
9. The Lamb of God that takes aways the world's sin.
10.The Rock of Ages

His miraculous birth was predicted in the Bible centuries prior. His Virgin Birth in Bethlehem was predicted in Micah 5:2. Try reading it. He was a Jew, born around 3 B.C. during the height of the Roman Empire in a province called Judeah to the Virgin Mary in the village of Bethlehem under King Herrod. A few days after his birth, wisemen came from the East to see the Christ Child and presented him with gifts. A week after his birth, he was given the name Emmanuel and circumsized in the synagouge. Shortly after that, his Earthly Father Joseph took him and his mother Mary to Egypt to escape King Herrod's wrath and homicidal plot aginst Jesus and all newborn children under the age of two. The Bible doesnt give us much information between that time and when he was Baptized by John the Baptist at the age of 30.

His birth, death on the cross and resurrection just outside Jerusalem was predicted in the Bible Centuries prior, not just to 100% accurracy, but Jesus himself predicted his own brutal death and resurrection. He rose from the dead and PROVED he was who he claimed to be--the Son of God and that we have hope if we put our faith in him. This proves he is THE way, THE truth and THE life.

Jesus is currently up in heaven in his perfected, resurrected body preparing a place for all those who love him. He will return to the Earth to establish his Kingdom and his people will rule and reign with him through all of eternity.

Jesus is the most influencial human being that has ever lived and will ever live. He sits at God the Father's right hand and rules and reigns over the universe that God has entrusted to him.

by [e-mail] November 25, 2007

Watergate

The most infamous political scandal in US history that resulted in the resignation of President Richard Nixon and his VP Spiro Agnew in 1974. It centered around a burglery at the Watergate hotel in Washington by the president's operatives to dig up information on his political enemies. The scandal later used a political enemies hit list, firings in the executive branch, wiretapping, threats, the IRS, and intimidation directed toward Nixon's enemies. During Nixon's endictment he refused to surrender tapes to the FBI that he knew would have resulted in his prosecution. Once Nixon knew there were enough votes in the House to impeach him and enough in the Senate to convict him, he resigned in disgrace--the only President to do so. A few months afterward, the new President Gerald Ford gave him a total pardon, allowing him to keep retain his law license. For the rest of his life he continued to deny any involvement in the scandal--at least directly.

Watergate was one of the saddest chapters in American politics in the 20th century. If it weren't for the Watergate scandal, Nixon would go down in history as being a very good President or average at worst.

by [e-mail] December 9, 2008

Democrat

One of the two major political parties in the U.S. It was formed by Thomas Jefferson but has changed greatly since then. It has become a self-righteous, corrupt and politically-correct party that has grown to embrace the Hollywood culture, abortion, socialism, the redistribution of wealth, universal healthcare, gay marriage, illegal immigration, envrionmentalism, antiquated labor unions, constantly higher taxes and usually followed by tax and spend practices, larger government and its stupid handouts and entitlement programs. Democrats are often hostile to corporate America and national defense. Most Democrats masquerade themselves as compassionate for the sake of votes and power.

The Democrat party is not successful anymore because its beliefs are largely antiquated and don’t work. Democrat philosophy, quite honestly, lacks faith in the American system by embracing far-left ideals. Much of its philosophy lacks common sense.

by [e-mail] December 28, 2007

muncie

Land of nowhere located 55 miles NE of Indianapolis.

The hometown of Ball State University.

Population 70,000

muncie is about the dullest place on Earth.

by [e-mail] March 26, 2007

nice guy

A guy who always gets the short end of the stick and "finishes" last and is often overlooked by women and never really appreciated by the woman of his interest, no matter what he does. Women don’t often think of him as being much more than just a good friend; they only rely on him to listen to their problems or to hang out with, but would never consider dating him. He has a hard time getting a girlfriend because, God forbid, he has average looks with an average physique, and she would rather date a handsome dumb jock with a nice car, who treats her terribly, than to date an average guy. He frequently gets rejected by women because they are driven by their self-centeredness and superficiality, and don’t realize that he is the man of her dreams and right in front of her. In his childhood he was probably one of the last kids to be picked on the team to play kickball when he was a good player. And he may have even been bullied as a kid. The nice guy is probably a lonely person who just wants to fall in love and get married like everyone else, but for some reason women and people miss out on who he is. As a result of his lonliness and his natural need for sex and intimacy and relationships, he will get off on himself, only wishing he could share his life and body with the woman of his dreams. He probably has a lot of lonely nights, and the only time a woman sleeps with him or ever finds him attractive is because she is drunk. The nice guy will genuinely go out of his way to help the girl he has an interest in, but in the end his favors are disregarded. A nice guy always finishes last after bullies, jocks, jerks and rich guys. Evidently, his trustworthiness, honesty and commitment are only secondary to looks, money, and materialism. The interesting thing is that when women get depressed and stressed out being involved with the bad men, they always come back to the nice guy to help them.....until the process starts over again. And then, after decades of being in bad relationships, these same women are all-of-sudden 60-yrs old and single or divorced and wonder why they couldn’t find true love and the man of their dreams, when he was under their nose the whole time.

Basically, a nice guy is the worst insult a guy can receive by the girl he is interested in. It means “you are good enough to talk to and to get to know on a superficial basis out of convenience, but not good enough to get to know on a deeper level or to date.” When the girl I liked talked about me and said I was a “nice guy” to her female friends, I knew my chances of dating her were minute. Being called a “nice guy” is anything but a complement and makes me feel sad.

by [e-mail] January 23, 2009

Christmas

My favorite holiday and time of year. A holiday created by the early Christian Church to celebrate the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, around 6-3 B.C. This is the REAL meaning of the holiday and it has NOTHING to do with an old, fat geezer giving gifts to kids. Jesus was NOT born on December 25th, as many people believe. That is just the date that was selected by the early Church to remember his birth. He was actually born sometime in the Spring, to fulfill prophecy.

Christmas is a time people present gifts to each other to commemerate God's gift to humanity--Jesus, God's begotten Son. The Christmas tree represents Christ's sacrifice on the cross. The red colors we see signify his shed blood.

The legend of Santa Clause is almost entirely pegan and has almost NOTHING to do with Jesus. The idea of Santa Clause came from Saint Nicholas in the Middle Ages, who gave gifts to children at Christmas. The idea of flying reindeer guided by one that has a red nose as a light is complete hogwash. And I have no idea how the sleigh came about. Santa Clause is depicted as an old, fat man with a white beard and likes to eat snacks left by children on Christmas Eve. According to urban legend, Santa Clause will not drop by until all all children are asleep.

I have no idea how the idea of stockings and coal came about.

No matter what Christmas means to people, it is the most celebrated holiday of the year.

by [e-mail] November 25, 2007