3 definitions by john jellicoe
A wild feral monster from Samoa who the English have attempted to tame and civilise so they can utilise his raw supreme alpha beastliness for the purpose of trampling over people in the delightful game of Rugby.
Well I say chaps, Manu Tuilagi might be rough around the edges, but he sure knows how to punch Chris Ashton's stupid smug face. Get this guy an England jersey at once!
by john jellicoe December 19, 2013
Ultimate alpha badasses from the mountains of Nepal. Bred in fire and brimstone, it's been scientifically proven that Gurkhas are the manliest men of all time. They fight for Nepal, India and the United Kingdom, and march into battle weilding their Kukri 'knives' to the tune of 'Rap Gamez Callin' by Stevie Stone. The United Nations are investigating whether the use of Gurkha in battle constitutes a war crime, and recently declassified documents from the UK Ministry of Defence have revealed that the Trident nuclear programme is a myth, and in fact the British nuclear deterrent has always consisted solely of the Brigade of Gurkhas.
Preparing for an airborne assualt during the Malaya emergency, a British colonel asked the leader of a platoon of Gurkhas if they would be prepared to jump from a C130. Somewhat to the colonel's surprise, the Gurkha sergeant requested a day to talk it over with his men. The next day, the Gurkha duly reported that they would do it, but only over marshy ground with the aicraft flying at no more than 100ft.
'But at a hundred feet the parachutes wouldn't work,' the colonel explained.
The Gurkha replied, 'Parachutes? No-one mentioned parachutes!'
'But at a hundred feet the parachutes wouldn't work,' the colonel explained.
The Gurkha replied, 'Parachutes? No-one mentioned parachutes!'
by john jellicoe December 19, 2013
Late, great, former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and the best thing since sliced bread. Famous for bitch-slapping socialism into submission and then taking a dump on it's corpse. The BBC and Guardian like to portray the idea that everyone hates her, but in reality she won three general elections, the Tories won a fourth, then New Labour won three more using her policies. On top of that she was voted the 16th greatest Briton of all time and scores high in opinion polls, even up north. The far-left simply hate her because she made them her bitches.
What's that? Margaret Thatcher destroyed British industry? Actually, I think you'll find that according to the Office of National Statistics, manufacturing grew by 7.5% under her premiership compared to a 5% decline under Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, while she shut down less mines than Labour PM Harold Wilson.
by john jellicoe December 19, 2013