Simply stated: you are a douche bag. A douche bag is any person who feels it's necessary to impress someone else. Sometimes referred to as a fuck-off, or cock-smoke. Also, quite condescending and conceited; not unlike a tool-shed.
Oh, I see that you're wearing a white polo shirt, flower swim trunks, penney loafers, and sunglasses with a strap. You're a "douche bag" and you should probably end yourself with a revolver, douche bag.