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jim inman's definitions

stoneager

A stoneager is a person with basic and limited computer skills. Usually an older person (50+)who did not have computers to deal with as a kid. The stoneager more often than not has an outdated computer, system, software, etc.
My mom wants me to come over for dinner, and while I'm there, install some software for her. She is a great cook, but a total stoneager.
by Jim Inman August 19, 2006
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B-shift

In fire department terminology, the department firefighters
are divided into 3 shifts, to provide a full compliment on-duty 24 hours per shift, 7 days a week, 365. A-shift, B-Shift, and C-shift, rotating continually. B-shift is always considered to be the crew that fucks-up regularly and has the most fucked-up personnell.
That sonofabitch is so screwed-up, he belongs on B-shift!

Look what B-shift did now, fucking buttweasels ate all of the chocolate cake!

I'd rather have a sister in a whorehouse than a brother on B-shift.
by Jim Inman August 16, 2006
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oreo road pizza

A roadkill skunk, especially one that can be smelled on the wind.
His fucking dog smelled like oreo road pizza.

I don't know what she calls that fragrance, but it smells like oreo road pizza.

My new truck is officially broken-in, I made oreo road pizza twice on the way to the lake.
by Jim Inman August 16, 2006
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asshacker

An asshacker is a yuppy fag, cruising the bar scene, who tries to pick-up on straight guys.
"Naw, we quit goin to Strange Willie's. The place has been taken over by asshackers."

" She is cute as a button, queer as Amelia Earhardt, and that asshacker Robert has her back."
by Jim Inman August 17, 2006
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brown boot

To brown boot somebody is to mark a person to be culled or to be singeled-out for dismissal. A pink slip.
"This morning they gave half the cubical rats the brown boot. I hope we're not next!"
by Jim Inman August 17, 2006
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gaawwddaaamnit

Gaawwddaamnit! is a word used by women if they accidentally zipp their labia into their low-rise Calvin Kleins. I've only heard it once.
Gaawwddaaamnit! Mutherfucking sonofabitch! Call 911!!!
I zipped my meatzorp into my Calvins.OOOH FUCK, OOOH FUCK, OOOH FUCK!
by Jim Inman August 26, 2006
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jack-up

To jack-up is a gymrat term for working to improve a specific muscel or set of muscels, especially women who want to firm-up their butts.
She is doin something to jack-up that ass. I'll bet she spends an hour-a-day on the stairclimber."
by Jim Inman August 17, 2006
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