51 definitions by hecktor dangus

311
A group of scat muncher homosexuals from Nebraska who have been pretending to be musicians since the early 1990s.

The group got their name when Jim Watson, the band's former guitarist, was charged with sales of scat pornography to a minor. One of his neighbors turned him in by calling 311 because of the unusually strong smell of feces coming through the wall.

The band is known for their strong belief in Satan and has a reputation for stomping the skulls of live kittens and burning bibles on stage. As a result, they have been banned from playing in most states and within 500 yards of any animal shelter. In 1993 they recorded a song called "Omaha Stylee" which details their largest bible-burning to date, which also led to their RV being destroyed by fire. Rumor has it that the FBI was about to bust them for child pornography, so they torched the RV while it was loaded with their entire stash of kiddie porn. They are currently working on a new album tentatively titled fucktardation which, according to drummer Chad Sexton in a recent interview with gay publication the Advocate, is "the only word that fully encompasses the impact of 311's musical career".
Q: Hey, did you hear Larry Craig's favorite band is 311?

A: I'm not surprised in the least...those guys really put the 'ghey' in reggae.
by hecktor dangus July 10, 2008
Any car with an alarm which is consistently activated by the slightest movement or vibration. Every low-income neighborhood has at least a few ghetto wind chimes present at all times. Frequently parked near sketch pads.
There are way too many ghetto wind chimes around here...they start sounding off every time a bird takes a shit on someone's windshield.
by hecktor dangus September 15, 2008
Activities which are routinely associated with the sale and use of crack cocaine. Cracktivities are normally characterized by the desperate style with which they are executed. Cracktivities often include (but are not limited to) such things as:

1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.

2. the typical smash and grab.

3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.

4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.

5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).

6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.

When passing through the city of Memphis, it is highly advisable to keep one's car windows rolled up and avoid stopping if at all possible. This will minimize the likelihood of your becoming entangled with the inevitably omnipresent cracktivities.
by hecktor dangus September 21, 2008
A farting technique in which the flatulent person grabs one butt cheek and pulls the ass apart so that gas is expelled soundlessly, or almost soundlessly.

The manual release is sometimes accompanied by a subtly airy 'whooshing' or 'hissing' sound. Most dog farts make a similarly subtle sound, largely due to canines' utter lack of butt cheeks.

According to urban legend, this is also the same sound made by the fudge jar when a fart comes out. For example, one would expect the goatse man's flatulence to behave in this manner.
The most polite way to fart in public is the manual release.

...that is, unless someone sees you while you're gripping your butt cheek...then you may have to do some 'splaining.
by hecktor dangus May 07, 2009
Code word for cocaine.
Person A: I hate my new job with a passion. These drug tests are fucking intrusive and I can't smoke the herb anymore.


Person B: Well, at least you can still do some david lee roth on the weekends...that shit will be outta your system by Monday.

Person A: Fuck you, I hate cocaine.
by hecktor dangus April 26, 2009
The nekkade is a decade performed in the nude. This is a freestyle bike trick invented by hecKtor Dangus during the summer of 2009.

For video documentation, Google search the word 'nekkade'.

Do it for the lulz.
Cops to Dangus : "That nekkade was truly incredible, but we're going to have to ask you to put some pants on, sir."

Dangus to cops : "I bet you guys listen to 311".
by hecktor dangus November 24, 2009
Xanaps

The brief but heavy periods of sleep which commonly accompany the use of the benzodiazepine alprazolam, a.k.a. Xanax.

If you don't get much sleep at night and decide to take a little Xanax the next day to 'relax', you can expect to be taking a Xanap very shortly afterwards.

Often employed by white hats of low moral fortitude to get into the pants of unsuspecting young women. These men, incidentally, should be killed with anthrax for their utter fucktardation.

Frat Boy A: Dude, what happened to those chicks we brought home from the bar?


Frat Boy B: They're still in the car taking Xanaps, you sneaky serial date rapist, you!


(high five, followed by unrequited homosexual thoughts)
by hecktor dangus April 29, 2009

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