hazletard-in-chief's definitions

Highland Road

The hottest spot near Hazleton, Pennsylvania, to dump dead prostitutes at.

nigga 1: We need to dump this ho's body somewhere, she's getting ripe.

nigga 2: I know a place where I dumped an old couch, refrigerator and dead ho last week. I found it, while geocaching.

nigga 1: Geocaching?! We need to blacken you up. It' bad enough your a registered Republican, but fucking geocaching. Nigga Please!

nigga 2: Fuck you. Here we are... Highland Road biatch!

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010

Berwick Lights

The nickname for "The Berwick, Pennsylvania Jaycees' Christmas Boulevard" annual display. The display claims to be "over a mile of lights", meaning it utilizes upwards of a mile of strung lights, not that the display is actually a mile long. The display is located on the Market Street median directly in front of Berwick City Hall/The Jackson Mansion. It is actually quite popular in Northeastern Pennsylvania.

Berwick Lights are fucking awesome, if you ingest some psychedelics prior to seeing them.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 5, 2010

reschooler

A person trying to relive school, usually high school or college.

Nicole: I am so happy to be a highschool English teacher. I also get to head the yearbook staff. I love yearbook.

Melvin: Fucking reschooler. God your pathetic.

Nicole: Your just jealous, because your a self employed businessman, making seven figures a quarter. While I am getting to relive highschool everyday.

Melvin: I'd rather relive the gang bang I had at the Playboy Mansion last week.

by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011

hazletard

1) noun: A mentally impaired person from Hazleton, Pennsylvania; 2) verb: to render something or somebody useless; 3) verb: to act mentally impaired while in the city limits of Hazleton, PA

A hazletard (definition 1) stole my quad, barrelled up City Hall's steps and hazletarded (def. 2 past-tense) the fucking bitch. The cops found him hazletarding (def. 3 past participle) down the block, from meth. I got to leave this fucking town!

by Hazletard-in-Chief October 11, 2010

Hazleton Hot Pocket

A necrophilia and coprophilia based sex act, in which a hazletard removes a corpse's head, defecates in the esophagus, and has sex with the esophagus.

hazletard: Nothing like visting the morgue at Hazleton General Hospital, and pulling off a Hazleton Hot Pocket!

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010

Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic

1. The signature sketch of prop comic Gallagher, in which he smashes miscellaneous items with a large mallet not an actual sledgehammer. Apparently, a sledgehammer is too heterosexual. 2. A potent strain of methamphetamine, named after the above prop comic. Originating from around Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Taken orally, intravenously, anally, vaginally, nasally and smoked. The original lab was raided at the dawn of 2010, but is back in operation.

1. douche bag: I brought the clear plastic tarp for Gallagher's show. Hope he brings the Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic. Hee hee hee.

2. hazletard: I need a quarter hit of some Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic, bad. So I can suck truck driver cock for enough cash for a full hit, no homo.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010

Nueva República Dominicana

Spanish for New Dominican Republic. The Dominican nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania, due to it's evergrowing Dominican population.

white hazletard 1: I heard some spick, tell me to get my mullet out of his Nueva República Dominicana. Is that spanish for business?

white hazletard 2: Nope, that means move out of Hazleton, before you get your white ass mashed. I'm moving to Sugarloaf ASAP.

by Hazletard-in-Chief November 27, 2010