Definitions by hazletard-in-chief
Stone Coucher
Any person(s) that urinate(s), defecate(s) and/or fornicate(s) on the Stone Couch near Hazleton, PA 18201. Most usually brag about it, without shame.
PA State Trooper 1: Let's stake out the Stone Couch for some Stone Couchers. It's time they go to jail for their immoral behavior.
PA State Trooper 2: The heck with that. Let us shit, piss and fuck on the couch.
PA State Trooper 1: Ooh you're a notty Trooper, ready to stab my pooper.
(Freaky gay law enforcement loving ensues. A box of Dunkin Donuts is involved, as well.)
PA State Trooper 2: The heck with that. Let us shit, piss and fuck on the couch.
PA State Trooper 1: Ooh you're a notty Trooper, ready to stab my pooper.
(Freaky gay law enforcement loving ensues. A box of Dunkin Donuts is involved, as well.)
Stone Coucher by Hazletard-in-Chief November 13, 2011
Hazleton Switcheroo
Using cheaper and more abundant illegal immigrant toddlers, in place of gerbils, to gerbil slam. Very popular with Hazleton's gay community.
THE FIRST HAZLETON SWITCHEROO
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
Hazleton Switcheroo by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
reschooler
Nicole: I am so happy to be a highschool English teacher. I also get to head the yearbook staff. I love yearbook.
Melvin: Fucking reschooler. God your pathetic.
Nicole: Your just jealous, because your a self employed businessman, making seven figures a quarter. While I am getting to relive highschool everyday.
Melvin: I'd rather relive the gang bang I had at the Playboy Mansion last week.
Melvin: Fucking reschooler. God your pathetic.
Nicole: Your just jealous, because your a self employed businessman, making seven figures a quarter. While I am getting to relive highschool everyday.
Melvin: I'd rather relive the gang bang I had at the Playboy Mansion last week.
reschooler by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
Chinese swing
A swing with accessibility to the rider's genitalia/anus. Supposedly invented in the far east. It could be as simple as a hammock, or as complex as an injection molded custom fit unit upwards of $1500.
me: Let's go down to my sex dungeon, and try out my new Chinese swing. It has thermionic heating and cooling.
some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.
me: You're making me blush.
some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.
me: You're making me blush.
Chinese swing by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
strip mine
strip mine by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
Northeast Counseling
The nonprofit organization that provides the vast majority of psychotherapy for the psychopaths in the Hazleton PA area. The majority of it's patients never get better.
nutty fuck 1: I need some pussy. And I need it fast.
nutty fuck 2: Don't you buttfuck your girlfriend, so she doesn't get pregnant? That's why you need pussy so bad. Asshole is no substitute.
nutty fuck 1: The doctor up a Northeast Counseling told me to either cut my balls off or fudge pack her ass. The last option seems less painful.
nutty fuck 2: To you, that is.
nutty fuck 2: Don't you buttfuck your girlfriend, so she doesn't get pregnant? That's why you need pussy so bad. Asshole is no substitute.
nutty fuck 1: The doctor up a Northeast Counseling told me to either cut my balls off or fudge pack her ass. The last option seems less painful.
nutty fuck 2: To you, that is.
Northeast Counseling by Hazletard-in-Chief August 18, 2011
Failzeton
The newest nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Based on the facts: a) Hazleton misspelled it's own name; b) all attempts to salvage this city always fail; c) Hazleton, PA = epic fail.
Another pimp killed another ho, instead of pimping that bitch for mad money. Welcome to Failzeton, biatch!
Failzeton by Hazletard-in-Chief December 24, 2010