hazletard-in-chief's definitions

Nueva República Dominicana

Spanish for New Dominican Republic. The Dominican nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania, due to it's evergrowing Dominican population.

white hazletard 1: I heard some spick, tell me to get my mullet out of his Nueva República Dominicana. Is that spanish for business?

white hazletard 2: Nope, that means move out of Hazleton, before you get your white ass mashed. I'm moving to Sugarloaf ASAP.

by Hazletard-in-Chief November 27, 2010

Hazleton, PA 18201

If Pennsylvania was to have an illegitimate retarded child, this hell hole would be it.

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: Can't we just abort Hazleton, PA 18201?

United States Supreme Court: No. Once you hit the third trimester, it's illegal. You are well over three hundred trimesters, already!

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: FUCK!

by Hazletard-in-Chief November 29, 2010

Berwick Lights

The nickname for "The Berwick, Pennsylvania Jaycees' Christmas Boulevard" annual display. The display claims to be "over a mile of lights", meaning it utilizes upwards of a mile of strung lights, not that the display is actually a mile long. The display is located on the Market Street median directly in front of Berwick City Hall/The Jackson Mansion. It is actually quite popular in Northeastern Pennsylvania.

Berwick Lights are fucking awesome, if you ingest some psychedelics prior to seeing them.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 5, 2010

Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis

When a pimp seriously injures or kills his ho, thus losing money by not being able to pimp her out.

detective 1: I'm out here on Highland Road again, looking at another dead prostitute. What a waste.

detective 2: I know. That bitch could be making money sucking and fucking. At least a couple grand on Friday night, alone. It's a damn shame.

detective 1: I believe they call it Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis. It's a form of nigger logic.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 8, 2010

Hazleton Hot Pocket

A necrophilia and coprophilia based sex act, in which a hazletard removes a corpse's head, defecates in the esophagus, and has sex with the esophagus.

hazletard: Nothing like visting the morgue at Hazleton General Hospital, and pulling off a Hazleton Hot Pocket!

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010

Hazleton General Hospital

The only hospital in Hazleton, PA 18201, with a functioning emergency room.

An unidentified man died in the waiting area of Hazleton General Hospital. He bled to death, because of the wait behind thirty illegal immigrant tweenage bitches checking to see if they were pregnant.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010

scamotz

1. a confectionery mixture made of: one part low grade Mozzarella cheese, one part American cheese and three parts hydrogenated vegetable oil. Found on cheap pizza and other Italian influenced American foods. 2. semen

Maria: I almost choked to death on some scamotz, last night.

Jennifer: The cheap Italian stuff, or the testicle gravy?

Maria: Both, actually.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010