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hazletard-in-chief's definitions

Hazleton drifting

A form of racing, in which a shopping cart is forced into a over-steer. Popular in Hazleton, PA, because cars and gasoline aren't covered by food stamps.
hazletard: I won the Hazleton drifting competition in the Walmart parking lot.

me: Fucking sped.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
mugGet the Hazleton driftingmug.

bloody hazleton

A form of mutual masturbation, in which heavily menstruating woman hangs upside-down while her male partner masturbates her. He catches any falling menstrual blood with his penis, which his partner uses as lubricant to masturbate him.
"Nothing makes my nuts bust, quite like a bloody hazleton."

--Jack Palance
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
mugGet the bloody hazletonmug.

Berwick Lights

The nickname for "The Berwick, Pennsylvania Jaycees' Christmas Boulevard" annual display. The display claims to be "over a mile of lights", meaning it utilizes upwards of a mile of strung lights, not that the display is actually a mile long. The display is located on the Market Street median directly in front of Berwick City Hall/The Jackson Mansion. It is actually quite popular in Northeastern Pennsylvania.
Berwick Lights are fucking awesome, if you ingest some psychedelics prior to seeing them.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 5, 2010
mugGet the Berwick Lightsmug.

reschooler

A person trying to relive school, usually high school or college.
Nicole: I am so happy to be a highschool English teacher. I also get to head the yearbook staff. I love yearbook.

Melvin: Fucking reschooler. God your pathetic.

Nicole: Your just jealous, because your a self employed businessman, making seven figures a quarter. While I am getting to relive highschool everyday.

Melvin: I'd rather relive the gang bang I had at the Playboy Mansion last week.
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
mugGet the reschoolermug.

Highland Road

The hottest spot near Hazleton, Pennsylvania, to dump dead prostitutes at.
nigga 1: We need to dump this ho's body somewhere, she's getting ripe.

nigga 2: I know a place where I dumped an old couch, refrigerator and dead ho last week. I found it, while geocaching.

nigga 1: Geocaching?! We need to blacken you up. It' bad enough your a registered Republican, but fucking geocaching. Nigga Please!

nigga 2: Fuck you. Here we are... Highland Road biatch!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
mugGet the Highland Roadmug.

Nationwide Thugs

The nonexistent gang, all the the wiggers in Hazleton claim to be a member of. Sometimes shortened to "Nationwide."
hazletard: I'm in da Nationwide Thugs, yo. I'll cap your ass.

human: Does the Aryan Brotherhood, now except wiggers? That's the prison gang that runs the white section in state prison. That's were crackers like you go, when you keep this act up into adulthood.

hazletard: Watch your mouth fool. Nationwide will fuck you up.

human: Thanks, for all the footage of your terroristic threats, for my new cellphone. Enjoy prison, biznitch!

hazletard: I'm sorry. Don't call the police. I just act like this, because I'm a loser.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
mugGet the Nationwide Thugsmug.

Failzeton

The newest nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Based on the facts: a) Hazleton misspelled it's own name; b) all attempts to salvage this city always fail; c) Hazleton, PA = epic fail.
Another pimp killed another ho, instead of pimping that bitch for mad money. Welcome to Failzeton, biatch!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 24, 2010
mugGet the Failzetonmug.

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