hazletard-in-chief's definitions

reschooler

A person trying to relive school, usually high school or college.

Nicole: I am so happy to be a highschool English teacher. I also get to head the yearbook staff. I love yearbook.

Melvin: Fucking reschooler. God your pathetic.

Nicole: Your just jealous, because your a self employed businessman, making seven figures a quarter. While I am getting to relive highschool everyday.

Melvin: I'd rather relive the gang bang I had at the Playboy Mansion last week.

by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011

Highland Road

The hottest spot near Hazleton, Pennsylvania, to dump dead prostitutes at.

nigga 1: We need to dump this ho's body somewhere, she's getting ripe.

nigga 2: I know a place where I dumped an old couch, refrigerator and dead ho last week. I found it, while geocaching.

nigga 1: Geocaching?! We need to blacken you up. It' bad enough your a registered Republican, but fucking geocaching. Nigga Please!

nigga 2: Fuck you. Here we are... Highland Road biatch!

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010

Berwick Lights

The nickname for "The Berwick, Pennsylvania Jaycees' Christmas Boulevard" annual display. The display claims to be "over a mile of lights", meaning it utilizes upwards of a mile of strung lights, not that the display is actually a mile long. The display is located on the Market Street median directly in front of Berwick City Hall/The Jackson Mansion. It is actually quite popular in Northeastern Pennsylvania.

Berwick Lights are fucking awesome, if you ingest some psychedelics prior to seeing them.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 5, 2010

Northeast Counseling

The nonprofit organization that provides the vast majority of psychotherapy for the psychopaths in the Hazleton PA area. The majority of it's patients never get better.

nutty fuck 1: I need some pussy. And I need it fast.

nutty fuck 2: Don't you buttfuck your girlfriend, so she doesn't get pregnant? That's why you need pussy so bad. Asshole is no substitute.

nutty fuck 1: The doctor up a Northeast Counseling told me to either cut my balls off or fudge pack her ass. The last option seems less painful.

nutty fuck 2: To you, that is.

by Hazletard-in-Chief August 18, 2011

strip mine

Archaic term for surface mine.

Let's go driving in the old strip mine, with your dad's Porsche Cayenne.

by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011

hazleton with cheese

A form of mutal masturbation, in which a yeast infected woman hangs by her feet, while a man mastubates her. He catches soft yeast falling from her vagina on his penis, and she uses it as lubricant, to masturbate his penis.

pervert: I love your fishy stank all over my cock.

bitch: Hope you enjoy it, I didn't clean my snatch for several weeks.

pervert: The hazleton with cheese is the bomb.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010

Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis

When a pimp seriously injures or kills his ho, thus losing money by not being able to pimp her out.

detective 1: I'm out here on Highland Road again, looking at another dead prostitute. What a waste.

detective 2: I know. That bitch could be making money sucking and fucking. At least a couple grand on Friday night, alone. It's a damn shame.

detective 1: I believe they call it Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis. It's a form of nigger logic.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 8, 2010