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hazletard-in-chief's definitions

hazleton with cheese

A form of mutal masturbation, in which a yeast infected woman hangs by her feet, while a man mastubates her. He catches soft yeast falling from her vagina on his penis, and she uses it as lubricant, to masturbate his penis.
pervert: I love your fishy stank all over my cock.

bitch: Hope you enjoy it, I didn't clean my snatch for several weeks.

pervert: The hazleton with cheese is the bomb.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
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Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis

When a pimp seriously injures or kills his ho, thus losing money by not being able to pimp her out.
detective 1: I'm out here on Highland Road again, looking at another dead prostitute. What a waste.

detective 2: I know. That bitch could be making money sucking and fucking. At least a couple grand on Friday night, alone. It's a damn shame.

detective 1: I believe they call it Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis. It's a form of nigger logic.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 8, 2010
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Hazleton Nut Thrust

When a man holds his balls together tightly, and fists a Domincan prostitute's asshole with the balls.
nigga: I would sure like to give you a Hazleton Nut Thrust.

Domincan Ho: (unintelligble Dominican jibbersh)

nigga: Oh yeah. Take it like a white biatch!

Dominican Ho: two dollars.

nigga: Damn your pricey.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 22, 2010
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bloody hazleton

A form of mutual masturbation, in which heavily menstruating woman hangs upside-down while her male partner masturbates her. He catches any falling menstrual blood with his penis, which his partner uses as lubricant to masturbate him.
"Nothing makes my nuts bust, quite like a bloody hazleton."

--Jack Palance
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
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Hazleton drifting

A form of racing, in which a shopping cart is forced into a over-steer. Popular in Hazleton, PA, because cars and gasoline aren't covered by food stamps.
hazletard: I won the Hazleton drifting competition in the Walmart parking lot.

me: Fucking sped.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
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Nationwide Thugs

The nonexistent gang, all the the wiggers in Hazleton claim to be a member of. Sometimes shortened to "Nationwide."
hazletard: I'm in da Nationwide Thugs, yo. I'll cap your ass.

human: Does the Aryan Brotherhood, now except wiggers? That's the prison gang that runs the white section in state prison. That's were crackers like you go, when you keep this act up into adulthood.

hazletard: Watch your mouth fool. Nationwide will fuck you up.

human: Thanks, for all the footage of your terroristic threats, for my new cellphone. Enjoy prison, biznitch!

hazletard: I'm sorry. Don't call the police. I just act like this, because I'm a loser.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
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Failzeton

The newest nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Based on the facts: a) Hazleton misspelled it's own name; b) all attempts to salvage this city always fail; c) Hazleton, PA = epic fail.
Another pimp killed another ho, instead of pimping that bitch for mad money. Welcome to Failzeton, biatch!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 24, 2010
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