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27 definitions by hazletard-in-chief

If Pennsylvania was to have an illegitimate retarded child, this hell hole would be it.
Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: Can't we just abort Hazleton, PA 18201?

United States Supreme Court: No. Once you hit the third trimester, it's illegal. You are well over three hundred trimesters, already!

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: FUCK!
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 26, 2010
A form of racing, in which a shopping cart is forced into a over-steer. Popular in Hazleton, PA, because cars and gasoline aren't covered by food stamps.
hazletard: I won the Hazleton drifting competition in the Walmart parking lot.

me: Fucking sped.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 09, 2010
The nonprofit organization that provides the vast majority of psychotherapy for the psychopaths in the Hazleton PA area. The majority of it's patients never get better.
nutty fuck 1: I need some pussy. And I need it fast.

nutty fuck 2: Don't you buttfuck your girlfriend, so she doesn't get pregnant? That's why you need pussy so bad. Asshole is no substitute.

nutty fuck 1: The doctor up a Northeast Counseling told me to either cut my balls off or fudge pack her ass. The last option seems less painful.

nutty fuck 2: To you, that is.
by Hazletard-in-Chief August 13, 2011
When a man engages in anal sex with another person, that is riding in a Chinese swing with diarrhea pouring out their ass.
If you try the Hazleton Mudslide, you're a total fucking pervert.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 18, 2010
The primary mode of transportation in Hazleton, PA, seen outside of every home: A stolen shopping cart!
hazletard 1: Got any WD-40, my ride needs a tune up.

hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 09, 2010
A form of exhibitionism, in which a white female tween pushes her naked rear up to a chain link fence, while two Dominican males separately penetrate the women's anus and vagina, through the fence. Very common in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.
Perez: Check out that bitch with the iCarly backpack, signaling us into a Hazletonian Glory Hole.

Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 09, 2010
The only hospital in Hazleton, PA 18201, with a functioning emergency room.
An unidentified man died in the waiting area of Hazleton General Hospital. He bled to death, because of the wait behind thirty illegal immigrant tweenage bitches checking to see if they were pregnant.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 08, 2010