27 definitions by hazletard-in-chief

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: Can't we just abort Hazleton, PA 18201?

United States Supreme Court: No. Once you hit the third trimester, it's illegal. You are well over three hundred trimesters, already!

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: FUCK!

Perez: Check out that bitch with the iCarly backpack, signaling us into a Hazletonian Glory Hole.

Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.

hazletard: I won the Hazleton drifting competition in the Walmart parking lot.

me: Fucking sped.

nutty fuck 1: I need some pussy. And I need it fast.

nutty fuck 2: Don't you buttfuck your girlfriend, so she doesn't get pregnant? That's why you need pussy so bad. Asshole is no substitute.

nutty fuck 1: The doctor up a Northeast Counseling told me to either cut my balls off or fudge pack her ass. The last option seems less painful.

nutty fuck 2: To you, that is.

hazletard: Nothing like visting the morgue at Hazleton General Hospital, and pulling off a Hazleton Hot Pocket!

hazletard 1: Got any WD-40, my ride needs a tune up.

hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.

An unidentified man died in the waiting area of Hazleton General Hospital. He bled to death, because of the wait behind thirty illegal immigrant tweenage bitches checking to see if they were pregnant.